I know, I know.

I can’t believe I just said (typed) those words either, but friends,  I think it might be true: I’m might be falling out of love with Target. At least their women’s clothing & shoes options.

It actually started a while back when they completely stopped carrying my shoe size (5.5). I used to be able to find so many shoes and would spend longer than necessary trying to decide which pair to buy, but now I don’t even look because I know they won’t have anything. I suppose they’re doing me favor considering my knees and ankles have been telling me for a while now that I need to invest in some better quality shoes with good support, and Target’s shoes are not that. It seemed to slowly go downhill from there.

One of my favorite shirts from Target’s ‘a new day’ line

These days, I don’t have much time (or money) to shop but the few times I have tried stuff on, it just didn’t work for me. Dresses fit weird, pants and shirts are too long, and the shoulders seams don’t line up with my actual shoulders. But, to be fair, I’m short and petite so garments tend to fit weird everywhere I go, unless they’re specific to smaller gals. Tailoring gets expensive so most of the time, I don’t even bother.

Target maxi that looks awesome, even though I had to hem the shoulders.

Naturally, I’m pretty sad about these latest developments. I was very much looking forward to their new lines and had already purchased a few things that made me feel  pretty  awesome. It hasn’t all been rainbows, though. There was a cardigan I purchased that was less than stellar because once I wore it, I discovered that the cuff of the sleeves stretch out A LOT if I pull them up at all, so I would pull them up around my elbow and they would fall back down immediately. All that pulling and tugging got pretty uncomfortable so I just don’t even wear the cardigan anymore. Sad.

Still loving this blouse from Who What Wear from Target

When I do find myself in Target (which is most weekends, actually) I’m drawn to the children’s clothing. I do love all of the cute little pants, tops, and jackets for Sebastian! It’s kind of funny how I’ve gone from wanting all the clothes for me to wanting all the clothes for him. He barely even leaves the house most days but I want him to look super dapper at all times. At least I can still count on Target for that.

I haven’t given up hope. I’d like to try on a few more things and see what their spring and summer lines have to offer. Maybe we can salvage our relationship but, at the very least, there’s still all of the other departments I can look forward to (I’m looking at you, home and bath!).

What are your thoughts on all the new changes Target has been implementing recently?

Are you wearing red?

I hope so because today is National Wear Red Day in order to raise awareness of heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases that affect women. According to the website, “cardiovascular disease in the U.S. kills  approximately one woman every 80 seconds. The good news is that 80 percent of cardiac events may be prevented with education and lifestyle changes. Go Red For Women advocates for more research and swifter action for women’s heart health.”

photo source

The whole month of February is Heart Health Month. In the past, I didn’t give this topic much thought, being a young and healthy woman. This year, as you might imagine, it holds a much deeper meaning for me. You see, I am a heart attack survivor.

I don’t have heart disease and I had no other risk factors except pregnancy. However, I made it a point to know the warning signs (I can thank my anxiety for that) and it really did save my life. So, I encourage all of you to take a minute to think about what you’re doing for your heart and then take a few steps to do better.  If you don’t know how, a good place to start is the NC Division of Public Health’s website. And while you’re there, you can read the interview I did with them.

Sebastian and Mommy wearing red to show our support for heart health.

Today I’m wearing red for myself and for my son, Sebastian. I’m lucky to still be here to love him and to take care of him. He’s the best reason I need to take care of my heart. So,  please take care of your heart so it can take care of you.

Why do you wear red?

When I hit 30 years old, I started feeling like my body was falling apart. I definitely felt that way earlier last week when I broke my little pinky toe! I’ve stubbed my toes a million times and, while painful, they were no big deal. This time, however, my toe broke. Like, for real broke.

How did I break my toe, you ask? Was it doing something cool like learning how to skateboard or sliding into third base? Of course, not. I broke my little pinky toe on the corner of an ugly box in my living room that holds a stack of magazines I haven’t looked at in ages. Totally unsexy.

The culprit is the brown box in the left corner of this photo.

I was chasing after that beautiful boy of mine when I rounded the corner of the couch and stubbed my toe on the box in the bottom of the photo above. Of course it hurt and I didn’t think much of it until I looked down and saw that the toe was facing the opposite direction than what it should have been facing. Ouch! For a split second I thought I should just snap it back into place but I didn’t. I called Nick to come home and take me to urgent care where they sent me to the orthopedic urgent care. There, they set it back in place, buddy taped it (taped it to the toe next to it to keep it from moving too much, and fit me for a boot. I left with crutches. What an eventful day!

The next day I had a therapy appointment so Nick had to stay home from work in the morning to drive me. I didn’t have to use the crutches long because I was able to walk with the boot after a few days. Then, by the end of the week I was able to drive. I go back next week for x-fays to determine whether my toe is healing properly, and I’m hoping that the doc will tell me I can wear regular shoes again as long as I keep it buddy taped. Wish me luck!

Awkwardly walking on crutches down the sidewalk.

Each day I play a fun game where I find cute socks that I can wear with the boot, like these peanut butter & jelly socks!

Scroll down to the bottom if you want to see a photo of the toe facing the wrong direction right after I broke it. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I promise. But I wanted to provide a warning in case you’re sensitive to that sort of thing.

Have you ever broken a bone?

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One of my favorite things about this time of year is snow. I love snow! Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve looked forward to those big, fluffy flakes falling each winter. I remember the mornings of a fresh snow fall, racing to put on as many layers of clothing as I could to stay as warm as possible and running outside with my brother with our makeshift sleds and we would play for hours, feet and noses happily frozen. One time I decided to explore the snowy woods around my house. It was the most peaceful I’d ever felt, just walking around and looking at trees that were blanketed in soft white, the quiet stillness of the forest filling me with calm. It’s one of my favorite memories. And that’s why I’m always thankful for – and looking forward to – those sunny winter days.

Last week a snow storm dropped 8+ inches on our town and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy every minute of it! Even though I only went outside twice, I spent most of the first evening watching it quietly fall and most of the second evening cooking in my kitchen where I could watch it from the window. I did bundle Sebastian up so that he could experience his first snow. He didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm for the cold white stuff but we did manage to get a cute little smile out of him. I’m sure that as he gets older he will like the snow just as much as I do. But, if he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. He can sit inside, drinking hot cocoa with his dad while I’m outside enjoying the flakes.

Sunny winter days are perfect for bundling up in cute hats, scarves, and coats when venturing out into the snow snow; drinking hot cocoa in your mittens; and watching the bright, winter sun glitter. I really do love the bright sunshine cutting through the chill in the air. It’s alsoincredibly beautiful. The white snow provides the perfect backdrop for making the colors on anything pop. The blue sky is bluer, the evergreens are greener, the cardinals are redder. It’s absolutely stunning. And the snowy winter nights are made for wrapping up in soft blankets and drinking warm beverages by the fireplace, a good book in hand. These are the days I look forward to all summer long.

How do you feel about snow?

It’s the beginning of the year and I’m in some kind of place that’s a little hard to describe. I’m trying to figure out my life and my next moves after I quit my new job after only 11 months to focus on my health and to take care of my son. And I’m glad I’m home now because Sebastian just got his first ear infection on account of a lingering cold and I’m here to snuggle him until he’s better.

It was in those quiet morning hours I spent snuggling a snotty baby that I stumbled upon a documentary called Minimalism: A Documentary about Important Things, and it really spoke to me. Since the baby was born, and especially since we started amassing a ton of toys and things for him, I’ve wanted to cut down on the clutter that has collected in my house. I bought the Marie Kondo book a while back with the intention of KonMari-ing my house, but after a few chapters, I became overwhelmed. The practice of keeping only the things that spark joy sounds great in theory, but the practice of holding each and every thing you own, waiting for it to spark joy or not sounds like chaos. I imagine opening every drawer and pulling things out until all my stuff is strewn about, causing more clutter than before, and I can’t handle it. But I suppose that’s the point.

photo source

Anyway, one interview in the documentary made the point that we should be making our space accommodate our lifestyles instead of making our lifestyles accommodate our space. For example, if you purchase a house that is bigger than your lifestyle requires, you’ll likely purchase a bunch of unnecessary stuff to fill the empty space in your big house and all that stuff rarely induces happiness. And because we’re not happy with our stuff, we keep wanting to buy more material things to find that happiness we crave.

It also emphasized that when we stop focusing so much on material things, we have more time and energy (and money!) to spend building our experiences and social relationships. I like the sound of that. And what I found MOST surprising (although I’m not sure why) is that fast fashion is the main culprit of this consumer culture we now live in. They said that in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, they dressed for warm weather and cold weather, whereas now, we have 52 seasons a year. Fifty-two. THAT’S A NEW SEASON EVERY WEEK. And that’s a calculated move because clothing companies want you to feel like you’re out of trend after one week so that you’ll buy something new the next week. That is just crazy.

Even before watching the documentary, I was ready to cut down on all the stuff. A few months ago I started gathering up all the clothes and accessories I don’t wear anymore, which then led to me scouring the rest of my house, identifying everything I was ready to toss. The intention was to make a few extra bucks in a yard sale. But that was months ago and now there’s snow on the ground and a pile of stuff taking up room in the nursery, just waiting to be disposed of in some way.

I still want to get rid of everything that we don’t use and only keep things that spark joy, but I find that actually getting rid of the things is the hardest part. And not because of the emotional connection I have with my things (this used to be a thing for me when I was younger – I once kept an ugly blue chair for YEARS even though we didn’t use it simply because I got it for my first apartment) but because I just don’t know what to do with it. The easiest option is hauling it to the Goodwill down the street, but there are other options, as well, like Habitat for Humanity for my housewares, etc. I’d still like to have a yard sale to see if we can make a few bucks, but I’d have to wait until the spring when folks are more likely to seek out yard sales. That also means the stuff sitting in my house for, like, three more months! Nick has suggested selling things online (FB Market, Ebay, Craigslist, etc.) but that requires taking pictures of each individual item and I don’t have the time nor patience for that. So, unless he wants to do all that, we wait.

photo source

But all of this is to say I’ve decided to move toward minimalism. I mean, I’m not ready to sell all of my stuff and move my family into a tiny house (although I would love to have a tiny house in my back yard to use as a guest home for my friends and family who come visit) but I am ready to get rid of the junk in my house and keep only the things I need, the things that spark joy, and the things we use regularly. I want to focus less on things and more on people and experiences. I’m going to consume consciously and follow these last two important lessons from the documentary: before I purchase something new, I will ask myself if it adds value to my life, and I will love people and use things, because the opposite never works.