While I try to practice gratitude every day of my life, I like to spend the month of November reflecting on and giving thanks for all the wonderful things in my life. In the past, I’ve highlighted tangible things like handwritten mail and flowers, as well as more abstract concepts like laughter and family traditions.

This year, I struggled a bit to figure out what I wanted to highlight. Not because I’m ungrateful for the wonderful blessings in my life, but because I feel like I’m always thankful for the same things – family, friends, food, etc. – and I don’t want to repeat all of those things to my readers, even though I truly am grateful for those things every single day.

I decided that for this year’s gratitude posts, I would highlight some more specific examples of what I’m thankful for. And when it comes to family, I’ll start with my husband, Nick.

I feel like I could write a book about all of the reasons that Nick is awesome. He truly deserves all the praise he gets and then some. One thing I really admire about him is that he works really hard to create a fulfilling career for himself and to take care of our family. Luckily, this doesn’t mean long hours away at some job, but rather putting forth his best effort both at the office and at home. Sometimes he’s recognized for it, and often times he isn’t, but he always gets the job done.

I’m also extremely grateful that he keeps me going when my anxiety starts to get the best of me. Getting enough sleep and not having a ton of things to worry about really helps keep the anxiety away. Nick knows this so he does a lot to let me keep my much-needed routines. Little things, like preparing Sebastian’s bottles so that I can go to sleep early if that’s what I need that day, really do go a long way. He takes care of the budgeting and the finances, making sure we’re on track to meet our goals and keeping me from blowing all of our money on food. And I never hear him complain.

Finally, I’m incredibly thankful that he’s so good at making me laugh, even when I don’t always feel like it. If you’ve read any of our conversations, you’re already familiar with his dry sense of humor. It’s completely opposite of mine, and I think that’s why he gets me giggling so often. Laughing is one of my favorite things in the world so having someone by my side every day that can crack me up with just one look is a real blessing.

Look, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies with us but we have it pretty darn good. We love each other very much, we agree on (and even dislike) the same things, and we want the best for each other, no matter what. I’m super lucky to wake up next to him and our awesome little guy every day.

And for that, I am super thankful!

In my post on Monday, I announced the big decision that I made to quit my job to focus on my health and to start figuring out a new career. So, sit back and let me tell you a little story about my dilemma in today’s job market that helped lead to these decisions.

photo source

I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 2007. I worked for three different companies gaining “real world” experience in the two fields I really love – psychology and public health. I always knew that graduate school was in the cards but I wasn’t sure which direction I wanted to go. I had many passions and working right after college was supposed to help me figure out which passion I wanted to pursue as my career. When I finally figured it out, I went to graduate school and earned a Master of Public Health degree in 2015. At that point I had more than six years of relevant work experience and this newly gained knowledge to utilize in the field I had chosen. I really wanted to work in health program planning, implementation, and evaluation.

But here’s where it gets frustrating.

I’m overqualified for most entry level positions yet I don’t have enough work/post degree experience for most of the positions in my field. I know this because of an experience I had a few years ago during an interview for a position at a nonprofit where I was volunteering. Even though it was an entry level position, I thought it would be a great opportunity for me because I really liked the organization, I felt I could get my foot in the door to start gaining experience in the field, and I could start working toward the career I really wanted. HOWEVER, the director stopped me after the very first interview question and told me I was overqualified and wouldn’t be happy in the position, and then refused to continue interviewing me. First, while her observations may have been true, I feel it wasn’t her decision to make for me. Second, so much for getting my foot in the door so I could gain the experience that all those other organizations and companies require, right? If I can’t even get entry-level experience in my field, how am I supposed to get the jobs that I actually went to school for? What exactly am I doing wrong?

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Fast forward a few years and, after getting laid off from a job I thought I would be happy making into a career, here I am doing something that is not even close to utilizing the knowledge I gained in graduate school with no prospects in sight because I still don’t have – nor am I currently getting – that specific type of field experience that employers require.

And don’t get me wrong; I know it’s a great privilege to have an education and to be earning an income to provide for my family. And I’m thankful for that, truly. But my current situation is costing me my physical and mental health and it is taking me away from my family, and for that I just can’t be grateful. In the few years since finishing my graduate program, I’ve lost out on several other jobs because they decided to go with someone who had more experience. And I’ve been told by well-meaning folks that “there’s always going to be someone out there with more experience than me,” and if that’s the case then why even bother at all? Won’t they always get chosen over me? And how to I get experience if no one wants to give me a change to learn? I have no idea how to get over this hump.

But let’s try to stay positive, shall we? I’m thinking this is a good time to start all over and try something new. A job that I’m in love with and look forward to doing every day, and one that will allow enough flexibility that I don’t have to sacrifice time with my family. For me, I think that’s writing. I’ve always wanted to be a writer and I wrote on Monday about how it took me a long time to give myself permission to believe that I am a good writer. So I’m taking time to figure out how to break into the writing world with little experience, a bare portfolio, and a love of words.

I’m holding out hope that I’ll eventually find a job that brings me joy instead of anxiety, and I hope that soon I’ll be on my way to establishing a successful career. Whatever I end up doing, I just want to love it. Friends, wish me luck! 🙂

This post was originally published on November 1, 2016 and has been slightly updated.

Feliz Día de los Muertos!

Today is Day of the Dead, a two-day holiday celebrated throughout Mexico and by people of Mexican ancestry, and it focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for, remember, and help support dead loved ones on their spiritual journey. On this day, people go to cemeteries to be with the souls of the departed and build private altars with the favorite foods and beverages, as well as photos and memorabilia, of their departed loved ones. These celebrations are meant to be happy and reverent instead of spooky or sad because they are, essentially, a celebration of life!

Sugar skulls  Photo source

The items that families leave on their altars include candles, sugar skulls (calaveras de azúcar), often with the person’s name inscribed on the top; pan de Muertos (bread of the dead), a special bread that is made especially for the season; and cempasuchil (marigolds) which bloom at this time of year and lend a special fragrance to the celebration – see photo below. I have a fond memory of taking a Spanish class in middle school where we made pan de muertos that we covered in cinnamon and sugar. Yum!

Decorated altar Photo source

Nick is of partial Mexican (and Haitian) descent but he didn’t grow up celebrating any Mexican traditions. I’ve always had a love for Hispanic culture, as I studied it for several decades and have always admired the richness of it. I would love for us to embrace that part of Nick’s heritage, especially now that Sebastian is here and we’re starting our own traditions. It’s definitely something to think about!

If you’re interested in appreciating and celebrating Día de los Muertos, here are some sensitive ways to do so:

-Visit your family’s cemetery and take some time to honor the memory/spirit of your loved ones who have passed, and decorate their grave sites with marigolds and other treats (if permissible)
-Visit a local museum or art exhibit that is honoring the holiday (basically, learn as much as you can about the culture of the holiday)
-Decorate your home with marigolds
-Try baking some of your own pan de muertos
-Wear some appropriately-themed jewelry such as a tasteful sugar skull necklace.

However…

*The most critical thing to remember when celebrating another culture’s customs is to understand and respect the significance of the symbols and actions you’re taking. Above all, consider context and be respectful*

Hasta luego,
Nikki <3

Hi friends,

I realize I missed the entire month of October with blogging. The truth is I had a difficult couple of weeks at the beginning of the month where my anxiety flared up and got the best of me. Sometimes it hits me so hard that I go on autopilot and it’s a small victory to make it through each day without a breakdown. And that focus on survival doesn’t include things like blogging. But I feel I’m finally out of the fog and it’s time to make time for writing. Thanks for sticking with me!

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One reason I’m back to the blog, though, is talk about a big change that is coming up.

After a lot of discussion and budgeting and more discussion, I’ve decided to quit my job at the end of the year to focus on my health and my family. I’ve had a lot of medical experiences this year from giving birth to having a heart attack and I never really had a chance to fully recover from either episode. I had a six-week maternity leave, which anyone who has had a baby – as well as new research on postpartum healing – can tell you this is not nearly enough time, and I was only out of work for a week following the heart incident, so it’s really no wonder that my anxiety has been front and center for the past six months.  But not only is this time off for taking care of myself, but I’ll have this awesome little guy around to help me get better!

And I can focus on watching him grow for a while, something I feel like I’ve been missing out on ever since I had to go back to work.

It won’t be all fun and games, however. The plan is to take time to get back on my feet and, when I’m ready, I’ll start fresh with my career, which is the other half of my big decision. I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet but I *DO* know that I want it to involve writing, both for my blog and professionally. I’d love to write for magazines, other blogs, and even for news & academia outlets. I love writing and it has taken me more than a decade to be able to say that I’m a good writer. I am a good writer, I’ve just never given myself permission to believe it so I’ve never pursued writing as a career. Until now. And my next post will talk a little more about how I came to these decisions.

So, tell me: have any of you made any big decisions – whether it was to quit your job to stay home with your children or to start a totally new career with little to no experience – and if so, how did it turn out? I love hearing others’ experiences and I certainly need all of the encouragement I can get. Thanks!

In Durham, where I live, breweries and bottle shops are very dog and family friendly. Most of the breweries have areas separate from the bar where parents can gather with their friends and kids to have a beer and play a few board games. Some of them even have nice outdoor spaces where kids can run around while parents hang out with their pals. I’m thankful for this because it allows Nick and me to go out for a drink last-minute without having to find a babysitter. And after a ridiculously long week, that’s exactly what we did. We headed to a small bottle shop near our house with Sebastian in tow. And this is the outfit I wore!

Regardless of how family friendly it was, I still felt a little like this:

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We weren’t out for very long, maybe an hour at most. I had one glass of wine, and Sebastian slept most of the time so I don’t feel bad about it. But I did want to feel like I was actually going out instead of having a drink at home in my pajamas so I grabbed this new pair of jeans I got from a recent Stitch Fix. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about the frayed hemline of these jeans but I slowly warmed up to them. While these may not be the first pair of jeans I reach for, I definitely wear them a bunch. And I will probably wear them even more now that the weather is starting to cool down ever so slightly.

A few weeks after Nick, Sebastian, and I went to the bottle shop together, we met up at the bottle shop with our neighbors who have a kid who is slightly older than Sebastian. It was a fun time all around. I’m sure the bottle shop won’t be the last crazy place we take our baby.

True story:

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Where’s the craziest place you’ve taken your baby?

Shirt: via Le Tote | Jeans: via Stitch Fix | Shoes: Banana Republic | Necklace: Old Navy | Watch: Target | Clutch: Nordstrom