When most people think of October, they picture cool days, fall leaves, hayrides and apple cider, scarves and boots, and, of course, pumpkins! In the South, however, it stays 90 degrees and humid throughout most of the month. But that doesn’t stop us from sweating in our scarves as we roam the pumpkin patch, looking for the perfect gourd.

That’s exactly what we did this weekend! It was hot and humid, and we spent a good amount of time fighting the mosquitoes, but I was determined for Sebastian to paint a pumpkin at one of our local produce stands, Perkins Orchard. [Side note: we bought our Christmas tree here last year and it stayed green and fresh for so much longer than our friends’ trees that ended up getting dry and brittle really early] Despite the heat, we had a good time and got some cute pictures. And I purchased a bag full of produce (apples, avocados, strawberries, peppers, beets, and plums) and a small mum for $20! That’s a sweet deal.

Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer.

We were invited to my friend’s wedding in Wilmington, NC over Labor Day Weekend this year and decided to turn it into an end-of-summer family vacation. We brought Nick’s mom, brother and sister-in-law with us. We played in the ocean, had a date night, went to the aquarium, and attended the wedding, and a great time was had by all!

It’s too dang hot out here.

We spent Saturday morning at the beach. It was Sebastian’s first time, but he loves sand and water so we figured he would have a blast. At first, he was not having it. You can see in the photo above that he thought it was just too damn hot outside. He’s very much like his father that way. He wasn’t sure what to think about the ocean or the waves, and he was a little afraid at first, especially when the tide would roll out and his feet would sink into the sand. He was not a fan of that at all. However, he liked the water when it wasn’t knocking him over, and of course he loved the sand. The beach is one giant sandbox, after all. Toward the end of the morning, he was feeling much more brave and started running toward the waves!

Here’s a little secret: I haven’t always wanted kids. Even in high school when I was busy scribbling hearts around my boyfriend’s name and dreaming of his last name behind my first name, I don’t recall wanting to have children. My daydream then consisted solely of marriage and a good career, and that dream remained steadfast for many years. In college, I started to scoff at the idea of procreating and when I was in my mid-and-late-twenties, I had pretty much decided kids weren’t for me. And Nick was on the same page. We were going to focus on degrees and careers and our house and our dogs and all the other goals we had stashed up our sleeves. Besides, who has time for kids? They’re dream killers, and they’re so. needy, and you have to wipe their butts for them. Gross! 

And then I turned 30.

Sebastian is pretty darn perfect. That’s not just a biased mother’s opinion; the doctor agrees 😉

Two-week check up. The doctor literally said he’s perfect.

But even in all of his perfection, we had a rough start with breastfeeding. I have nothing against formula or mothers who choose to feed it to their babies, but breastfeeding is one of those parenting decisions that both Nick and I felt very strongly about. We were going to breastfeed for as long as possible. All throughout my pregnancy I had the normal concern most first-time moms have: will I produce enough milk? Turns out, I was a milking machine but it was an issue with Sebastian that caused our breastfeeding woes.

Sebastian was born with a tongue tie and accompanying high palate, which made latching to my breast/nipple and therefore efficient sucking nearly impossible. The hospital wouldn’t let the midwife cut it right after birth so we had to wait until we were discharged two days later to visit the midwife’s office so she could clip it. Even after it was taken care of, Sebastian still had a really hard time latching. That whole first week I would pump as much colostrum as possible and feed it to him with a syringe. It was extremely stressful and caused me so much anxiety that I was thisclose to giving up and switching to formula. Instead, I kept pumping and we started feeding Sebastian the pumped milk with a bottle, which was much more sustainable but seemed to horrify lactation consultants and experts everywhere who have acted like I’m a monster for introducing a bottle to a newborn (but whatever, my baby was eating and growing and that’s all that matters… but I digress).

He looks pretty full and happy to me!

We were referred to a wonderful lactation consultant who has worked with me so much to make breastfeeding a reality. She taught me how to use a nipple shield, which has been a life changer for sure. It has allowed us to go from almost exclusively pumping & bottle feeding to almost exclusively breastfeeding (we still use a bottle every now and then when I’m away or need a break). And let me tell you, it’s a wonderful feeling of success when you’re finally able to feed and bond with your baby the way you wanted to.

The plan is to try to wean him off of the shield and try to get him to latch directly on my breast BUT if I have to use the shield for the next 6 months or more, then that’s what I’ll do. I am very much of the mind that fed is best, whether that’s breast milk directly from the breast, from the bottle, or formula. Whatever keeps your baby alive and well.

Sweet success!

I still have some anxiety around breastfeeding. Mostly, I worry that even with the shield, Sebastian isn’t getting enough to eat. But at his two-week check up, he had already gained about 12 ounces since his last visit — and the doctor really did say he was perfect! — so we’re obviously doing something right. And that’s all that really matters.

Until next time,
xo, Nikki