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Nikki by example - Just a girl trying to lead by example
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  • Extras
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  • About Nikki
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Health•Life

Three Years and Counting…

May 27, 2020 by Nikki No Comments

Three years ago today I experienced the scariest, most traumatic event of my life: I had a heart attack at just 32 years old.

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I had just returned to work from a brief maternity leave and was looking forward to a long weekend of baby snuggles and a nice family picnic. However, instead of spending that time on a blanket in the warm sunshine with my boys, I spent it in a cold hospital room in the cardiac ICU recovering from a spontaneous coronary artery dissection (SCAD). Because I didn’t get that picnic three summers ago, I decided to make it a tradition, a picnic every year around May 27 to celebrate each year of survivorship. Of course this year we’ve skipped the picnic due to a lot of factors like the constant dreary weather, the pandemic, and being in the middle of packing everything up for a move.

But I’m still in very good physical health and my mental health has improved tremendously, though I still occasionally deal with some PTSD stuff. But I get to watch Sebastian sing songs and learn new things and run around, and I’m extremely thankful that I was so lucky, that I’m still here to watch him grow. I’ve always felt that all the little things count so much, but now I know just how much.

In this third year:

–I signed up for and started training for the inaugural 5K SCADaddle© for Research to run 3.2 miles and raise money for more important SCAD research. The race was originally supposed to be held in April but was postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, so my training has also been postponed but I’ll get back into it soon!

–I continue to be active in several online support groups, including a SCAD Survivors NC Facebook group where I can connect with and support survivors who truly understand what I’ve been going through these last three years because they’ve experienced it, as well.

–I’m still eating better. My diet has never been horrible but we now make it a habit to cook at home more and to ensure we’re eating fresh fruits and veggies.

All in all, I’m doing very well. And I’m *still* looking forward to a long lifetime full of sunny, warm picnics!

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Health•Life

Two years later

May 27, 2019 by Nikki No Comments

As Memorial Day came and went, so did the two-year anniversary of my heart attack.

Two summers ago, I had just returned to work from a brief maternity leave and was looking forward to a long weekend of baby snuggles and a nice family picnic. However, instead of spending that time on a blanket in the warm sunshine with my boys, I spent it in a cold hospital room in the cardiac ICU recovering from a spontaneous coronary artery dissection (SCAD). It was truly one of the most scary things to ever happen to me. Because I didn’t get that picnic two summers ago, I decided that a do-over was just want I needed to celebrate my first year of survivorship. I had planned to have another picnic this year to start a new tradition, but unfortunately, Sebastian came down with a fever so we’re having to postpone it for another time.

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Baby•Life•Motherhood

My Birth Story

My Birth Story | NCsquared Life
April 3, 2019 by Nikki 4 Comments

Sebastian’s birth, much like my entire pregnancy, was pretty uneventful. Everything went so smoothly thanks to the amazing work of my medical care team, all of the information and preparation I received from my midwives leading up to birth, and the care we received from the labor and delivery nurses in the hospital. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. So, if you’re in need of a happy, positive story to ease your own nerves about labor and delivery, I gladly offer up mine. Just keep in mind that every person’s experience will be different.

March 24th was the magical date my son was expected to enter the world. I knew from the very beginning that he wouldn’t be born on his estimated due date, as only about 5% of babies are, and I truly believed he wouldn’t arrive until April based on more recent research for predicting when babies to first-time moms would be born. Nonetheless, I still felt a little disappointed when we watched March 24th come and go with no baby.

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This was only two days passed my due date.

And then a week passed and the doctor’s appointments started to double up: two per week to check amniotic fluid and to perform non-stress tests to make sure the baby was doing all right. When the thought of my complication-free pregnancy turning into an emergency situation entered my mind and my midwives started talking about induction, I got really nervous and was even more ready for the baby to get here. And if he didn’t get here soon, I would be induced on April 6th, almost two weeks after my due date. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

NST | NCsquared Life

Non-stress test at 41 weeks

Saturday night, April 1, I started having light contractions around 11:30 pm. I had experienced some mild cramp-like sensations the previous week but they eventually faded away, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up this time around. However, when 4 AM rolled around and they weren’t going away, I knew it was the real thing. We alerted the family that it had begun. Although the contractions were getting slightly stronger, they were still few and far between. I labored at home for the majority of the day on Sunday, April 2, until about 7 PM when the contractions started hitting the sweet range of 4-1-1 (contractions happening every 4 minutes, each lasting 1 full minute, and have been that way for 1 hour) and we decided to head to the hospital. When we checked in and the midwife measured me, I was already dilated about 6 cm! I labored at the hospital for another 5 hours until my contractions were lasting about 2 minutes each and were about 2-3 minutes apart.

At this point, I had been progressively contracting for more than 24 hours and I was completely exhausted. The contractions felt much more painful when I was sitting or lying down so I stayed on my feet almost this whole time. I was walking around, swaying, and breathing through each one. Every time I would feel one coming on, I would grab Nick’s wrists and we would sway together while I breathed deeper than I have ever breathed in my life. I could tell he was getting tired, too, because he had to stand there and sway with me through each 2-minute contraction and then do it again less than 3 minutes later. I was seriously so tired that all I wanted to do was sit down, rest, and even sleep. The only way to do that was to get an epidural, which I had been against the entire 41 weeks I was pregnant.

But exhaustion is a powerful thing. It will make you act in ways you never thought you would, and for me, it was agreeing to get the epidural. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have had the energy or strength to bring my son into the world if I hadn’t. That’s not to say I didn’t struggle with the decision because I certainly did.

For hours I wrestled with whether I wanted it or not. I was tired, drained of energy, and I wanted to sleep but I was scared of the procedure and I thought it would make me feel like I had lost control of the situation. In the end, the exhaustion won and, around midnight on April 3rd, I asked for the epidural. And I have to admit to you now that this was THE. BEST. decision I could have made for myself. Sure, I lost all the feeling in my legs but I was able to sleep for about 6 hours and when the time came, I was more than ready to deliver my sweet baby boy.

I think the only real downsides to the epidural were that it made me feel a little nauseated and it slowed my contractions while I slept. I vomited once and the nurses gave me some anti-nausea medicine, which also helped me sleep. In the morning, when I woke up, they gave me a tiny bit of Pitocin to get the contractions back up to speed. Around 8 AM, the midwife checked me one final time and could actually see Sebastian’s head starting to make its way down! Everyone in the room – my midwife and nurse, my parents, Nick, and I – started to get ready for delivery. Amazingly, I only had to push for about 20 minutes or so and at 8:50 in the morning, he made his entrance into this world.

My Birth Story | NCsquared Life

Welcome to the world, Sebastian!

Sebastian Armando was born on April 3, 2017, weighing 6 lbs 11 oz, measuring 21 inches long, and sporting a full head of hair. His eyes were open and he was completely alert when they laid him on my chest. He looked up at me and I smiled. Nick kissed his little head and the world just seemed to be right. It was the most breathtaking moment I think I’ve ever experienced in my life.

My Birth Story | NCsquared Life

Sebastian’s birth day

He’s the most perfect little being in the whole world and I’m already so in love with him that it hurts. I love his hair, his smell, all of his adorable little sounds, and even his loud angry cries when he feels he isn’t being fed quickly enough. He’s so very chill just like his father but can get very feisty like me. He’s the absolute best! And I’m very excited to see where this journey is going to take us.

My Birth Story | NCsquared Life

First night home, cuddles with daddy

Stay tuned for more of my adventures in mommy hood.

xo,
Nikki

*This post was originally published on 4/13/2017 and has been slightly updated in honor of Sebastian’s second birthday today.*

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Life

One Year Later

May 30, 2018 by Nikki 1 Comment

Around this time time last year, I had just returned to work from my brief maternity leave and was missing Sebastian like crazy. I was only allowed six weeks off following his birth because I had just started a new job and didn’t have enough time built up for FMLA benefits. I was so looking forward to the three-day holiday weekend filled with the baby snuggles that I wasn’t getting during the week while Sebastian was in daycare. We didn’t have anything planned for the Memorial Day Weekend except for a picnic that I had been looking forward to for a while.

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Life•Motherhood

Big Decisions

Nikki by example
October 30, 2017 by Nikki 6 Comments

Hi friends,

I realize I missed the entire month of October with blogging. The truth is I had a difficult couple of weeks at the beginning of the month where my anxiety flared up and got the best of me. Sometimes it hits me so hard that I go on autopilot and it’s a small victory to make it through each day without a breakdown. And that focus on survival doesn’t include things like blogging. But I feel I’m finally out of the fog and it’s time to make time for writing. Thanks for sticking with me!

via GIPHY

One reason I’m back to the blog, though, is talk about a big change that is coming up.

After a lot of discussion and budgeting and more discussion, I’ve decided to quit my job at the end of the year to focus on my health and my family. I’ve had a lot of medical experiences this year from giving birth to having a heart attack and I never really had a chance to fully recover from either episode. I had a six-week maternity leave, which anyone who has had a baby – as well as new research on postpartum healing – can tell you this is not nearly enough time, and I was only out of work for a week following the heart incident, so it’s really no wonder that my anxiety has been front and center for the past six months.  But not only is this time off for taking care of myself, but I’ll have this awesome little guy around to help me get better!

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And I can focus on watching him grow for a while, something I feel like I’ve been missing out on ever since I had to go back to work.

It won’t be all fun and games, however. The plan is to take time to get back on my feet and, when I’m ready, I’ll start fresh with my career, which is the other half of my big decision. I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet but I *DO* know that I want it to involve writing, both for my blog and professionally. I’d love to write for magazines, other blogs, and even for news & academia outlets. I love writing and it has taken me more than a decade to be able to say that I’m a good writer. I am a good writer, I’ve just never given myself permission to believe it so I’ve never pursued writing as a career. Until now. And my next post will talk a little more about how I came to these decisions.

So, tell me: have any of you made any big decisions – whether it was to quit your job to stay home with your children or to start a totally new career with little to no experience – and if so, how did it turn out? I love hearing others’ experiences and I certainly need all of the encouragement I can get. Thanks!

 

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About Me

Hi, I’m Nikki. This is where I blog about my life and personal style. I’m a wife and mom, sushi lover, wine drinker, and coffee enthusiast. Welcome to my little corner of the world where I try to lead by example!

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