Around this time time last year, I had just returned to work from my brief maternity leave and was missing Sebastian like crazy. I was only allowed six weeks off following his birth because I had just started a new job and didn’t have enough time built up for FMLA benefits. I was so looking forward to the three-day holiday weekend filled with the baby snuggles that I wasn’t getting during the week while Sebastian was in daycare. We didn’t have anything planned for the Memorial Day Weekend except for a picnic that I had been looking forward to for a while.

Are you wearing red?

I hope so because today is National Wear Red Day in order to raise awareness of heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases that affect women. According to the website, “cardiovascular disease in the U.S. kills  approximately one woman every 80 seconds. The good news is that 80 percent of cardiac events may be prevented with education and lifestyle changes. Go Red For Women advocates for more research and swifter action for women’s heart health.”

photo source

The whole month of February is Heart Health Month. In the past, I didn’t give this topic much thought, being a young and healthy woman. This year, as you might imagine, it holds a much deeper meaning for me. You see, I am a heart attack survivor.

I don’t have heart disease and I had no other risk factors except pregnancy. However, I made it a point to know the warning signs (I can thank my anxiety for that) and it really did save my life. So, I encourage all of you to take a minute to think about what you’re doing for your heart and then take a few steps to do better.  If you don’t know how, a good place to start is the NC Division of Public Health’s website. And while you’re there, you can read the interview I did with them.

Sebastian and Mommy wearing red to show our support for heart health.

Today I’m wearing red for myself and for my son, Sebastian. I’m lucky to still be here to love him and to take care of him. He’s the best reason I need to take care of my heart. So,  please take care of your heart so it can take care of you.

Why do you wear red?

Skip. Like what happens when you hear a loud clap of thunder that makes you jump up out of your chair, but instead I’m just sitting at my desk in my quiet office, staring at the computer screen.

Flutter. Like the butterflies you get in your stomach when you’re nervous, but instead it happens in my chest while I’m sitting quietly on the couch, watching the evening news.

Race. Like when you’re watching your favorite sports team hit the winning shot right at the buzzer, but instead I’m sitting in a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam.

These are the peculiar sensations I’ve been feeling in my chest lately. For the average person, they’re no big deal. For the anxious person, they’re pretty common. For someone who is about 3 months post-heart attack like me, they’re cause for concern. My primary care physician thought that these sensations were simply due to stress. She made me go to the cardiologist, who agreed that it was probably just stress because everything else looked fine, but hooked me up to a holter monitor just to be sure.

Holter monitor, hour 1

A holter monitor is a small, portable monitor that measures your heart’s rhythm. I wore this monitor for 48 hours last week. Every time I felt a skip, a flutter, or a racing sensation, I pressed a button on the side to record the sensation in the results and then I described in a little journal exactly what I felt and what I was doing when I felt it. At the end of the two days, someone read the monitor and compared it to the notes in my journal to figure out what was causing my heart to act up like this.

Holter monitor, 24 hours

My two biggest fears regarding the results were on opposite ends of the spectrum. On one hand, I was afraid that the results would come back totally normal and would not show anything wrong. You’d think this is the best case scenario, but for me and my anxious mind, it would mean that I’m just crazy and/or hallucinating these sensations when I absolutely KNEW I wasn’t. On the other hand, I was afraid that the results would come back showing something catastrophic, like my heart was giving out and I only had a few more days to live, all the while wondering how I even made it this long.

Holter monitor, hidden under my shirt and in my jeans pockets

I got the results back this week and, luckily, they were right where I’d want them to be, comforting every so slightly my chaotic mind. They found that my heart rhythm is normal and that the ‘fluttering’ sensations correlated with occasional premature heart beats. These are benign but can feel strange or abnormal. Ultimately, there is no clinical concern but I should try to control my stress levels, as stress exacerbates the prematurely timed beats.

So, I’m not going to die of heart failure any time soon, which is good news. I do feel the occasional skip and flutter but my mind doesn’t automatically assume the worst. I’m working on addressing the stress in my life, which is extremely difficult given that I’m a new mom with a hectic work schedule. I’m slowly getting to a point where, when I feel my heart make its weird beats, it feels a little more like this:

Skip. Like when I see Nick and Sebastian after a long day and it makes my heart skip a beat.

Flutter. Like when my closed eyelashes lightly brush against Nick’s closed eyelashes during a long kiss. 

Race. Like when Sebastian is about to roll over/crawl for the first time and I’m so nervous for him but I know he’s strong and can do it. 

I bought these pants at Zara last July on my trip to Los Angeles to visit my best friend so I call them my “LA pants.” On the day I got them, we had planned to go hiking in Griffith Park while Nick played golf but when K told me there was a Zara in the mall, I begged her to take me there instead. I wanted to be able to say I went shopping at Zara. Why this was a big deal to me, I still have no idea, but I went and ended up with these awesome pants. I only got to wear them a few times because I knew that I was pregnant and pretty soon they wouldn’t fit. So now I’m making up for lost time. I wore this outfit to work last week and received a few compliments. Not bad.

I like that the floral pattern has a lot of different colors; they’re pretty easy to match with different tops. I chose red for this outfit but I’ll probably go with pink next time and mustard after that. The possibilities are pretty much endless. I also really like the straight leg. While I think skinny jeans/pants look nice and are comfortable, I’m also a fan of the larger leg opening of straight and boot cut jeans because I think they can be just as flattering. And they make me look a little taller than I am!

Cardigan: ModCloth | Blouse: Le Tote | Trousers: Zara | Shoes: Banana Republic | Sunnies: Target

Participating in: Trend Spin Linkup

I’m only 32 years old.

I’m only 32 years old and super healthy.

And yet I had a heart attack over memorial day weekend. It was a shock to everyone… me, my family, my friends, and my doctors.

I think it was this video – and a few online articles – that helped me recognize just what was going on. I really encourage you to watch the video, read the articles, and familiarize yourself with the signs because it just might save your life. Here’s my story:

I woke up on Saturday morning feeling completely normal. I nursed Sebastian and when I laid back down in bed, I immediately started feeling pain and a tightening sensation in my chest, jaw pain that felt like I had been clenching my mouth closed for hours, and a weird discomfort in my left arm. I didn’t know exactly what was happening at first but I knew something wasn’t right. I stood up and started pacing around my bedroom, telling Nick that I didn’t feel good and I was afraid it was something serious this time. I said “this time” because I have a history of anxiety and having panic attacks and, while panic attacks are very disturbing and certainly feel ominous, they aren’t usually life threatening.  This was different, though. It felt wrong. We decided to go to urgent care where they determined that I had really high blood pressure (which is normally on the low side for me) and abnormal EKG results, so the doctor sent me to the emergency room. He didn’t say it but it was pretty obvious that something serious was happening.

In the ER, several blood tests revealed elevated enzymes that are only present when there has been damage to the heart muscle. This really alarmed the doctors because they had never seen these results in someone so young and healthy. They moved me to the ICU, and after a procedure where they inserted a catheter into the arteries around my heart — and finding no clogs or other blockages — the doctors finally concluded that I must have had a small tear in the coronary artery, called a dissection. Due to lack of risk factors, they also determined it was likely pregnancy related, as pregnancy itself causes a lot of strain on the heart. Essentially, they think the tear caused the lining of my artery to flap up and block blood flow to my heart, resulting in the heart attack. But, luckily, the flap was pushed back down into place pretty quickly and began repairing itself. Good job to my body on that one!

Cuddling with my Sebastian monkey after being moved out of the ICU.

My official diagnosis is Coronary Artery Dissection. Apparently, while this type of heart issue is rare, it is a common type of heart attack/issue in pregnant and postpartum women. They’ve put me on several medications for the next year that will thin my blood, keep my blood pressure stable, and help protect my heart as it continues to heal. I will also have many follow up appointments in the coming weeks and months.