Happy New Year!

I’m ready to make some changes. And not just “I’m going to go to the gym three times a week” changes — although that is something I need to do and will be considering for the sake of my heart health — but real, lasting changes that will help me live the life I truly want. So this year, I’m going beyond the new year by establishing some “new life” resolutions!

I was given a new lease on life when I survived a spontaneous coronary artery dissection – a type of heart attack that comes out of nowhere for some healthy women and men – last year, which really etched into my being the fact that this is the only life we get. We should take advantage of all the good things and make this life one that is truly worth living, defined by how we choose to define it. For me that means being healthy to honor my body not giving out on me, doing more for the environment, creating a living space/environment that always makes me feel comfortable, and doing what I have to do to be the best Nikki that I can be so that I can truly lead by example.

A few things I want to do:

I love birthdays.

Mine and everyone else’s. For me, celebrating a birthday is honoring the day that a person came to be, a whole human being that came into existence from seemingly nowhere, and you just can’t beat that.

But when I turned 30, I briefly considered no longer commemorating my birthday because turning 30 meant I was getting older and getting much closer to having to face my own mortality. I hated the thought of dying, as evidenced by the huge dose of health anxiety, previously known as hypochondria, I felt on a regular basis since my late 20s, so anything that reminded me I was getting closer to death had to go. Little did I know that death was closer to knocking at my door than I ever realized.

Hi, friends!

I haven’t been posting much lately because I’ve had a rough couple of weeks with my anxiety. The most frustrating thing about anxiety for me is that I can go for weeks and even months feeling like I have a handle on things. Feeling back to normal and believing that everything is fine and I’m healthy and life is wonderful. And then, all of a sudden, BAM! I experience a little bit of stress, a few sleepless nights and then get hit seemingly out of nowhere with these feelings of dread because something is wrong, and then things come crumbling down.

Yesterday was my seventh wedding anniversary and I was going to take a look back on the day by posting photos and little stories about the day. My plan was to write it up and post it while on a break at work. However, my mind and body had other plans.

The past few weeks have been really rough. I was in charge of a week-long work retreat that was cut short by Hurricane Florence and we were left scrambling to figure out how to reschedule several days worth of work. I also had to navigate a major transition at the office as our CEO prepared to leave, all while worrying about preparing my home and family for the storm on top these regular work responsibilities. On top of that, in the last week or so, Sebastian decided to go ahead and have his 18-month sleep regression, waking us up several times a night. As you can imagine, I was one tired woman. You can see how not enough sleep and too much caffeine became the norm.

Unfortunately, it all culminated yesterday in a small panic attack at work where I spent about 20 minutes in my office with the door closed, crying and trying to ground myself. My anxiety is mostly post-traumatic, really starting after I experienced a heart attack last year, and it’s exacerbated by lack of sleep and too much caffeine, the two constants in my life for the past three-ish weeks. So, instead of blogging, I focused on breathing and making it through meetings without completely breaking down.

I wanted to have a little fun today and share a few facts about myself to help new and long-time readers alike get to know me better. I love finding out silly or random things about others so I thought you might enjoy it, too. For more fun facts, check out 50 Random Facts About Me and another 20 in my Snowflakes and Margaritas post. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll have a good time, I’m sure of it.

So, in no particular order, here are ten (more) random things about me: