When most people think of October, they picture cool days, fall leaves, hayrides and apple cider, scarves and boots, and, of course, pumpkins! In the South, however, it stays 90 degrees and humid throughout most of the month. But that doesn’t stop us from sweating in our scarves as we roam the pumpkin patch, looking for the perfect gourd.

That’s exactly what we did this weekend! It was hot and humid, and we spent a good amount of time fighting the mosquitoes, but I was determined for Sebastian to paint a pumpkin at one of our local produce stands, Perkins Orchard. [Side note: we bought our Christmas tree here last year and it stayed green and fresh for so much longer than our friends’ trees that ended up getting dry and brittle really early] Despite the heat, we had a good time and got some cute pictures. And I purchased a bag full of produce (apples, avocados, strawberries, peppers, beets, and plums) and a small mum for $20! That’s a sweet deal.

Yesterday was my seventh wedding anniversary and I was going to take a look back on the day by posting photos and little stories about the day. My plan was to write it up and post it while on a break at work. However, my mind and body had other plans.

The past few weeks have been really rough. I was in charge of a week-long work retreat that was cut short by Hurricane Florence and we were left scrambling to figure out how to reschedule several days worth of work. I also had to navigate a major transition at the office as our CEO prepared to leave, all while worrying about preparing my home and family for the storm on top these regular work responsibilities. On top of that, in the last week or so, Sebastian decided to go ahead and have his 18-month sleep regression, waking us up several times a night. As you can imagine, I was one tired woman. You can see how not enough sleep and too much caffeine became the norm.

Unfortunately, it all culminated yesterday in a small panic attack at work where I spent about 20 minutes in my office with the door closed, crying and trying to ground myself. My anxiety is mostly post-traumatic, really starting after I experienced a heart attack last year, and it’s exacerbated by lack of sleep and too much caffeine, the two constants in my life for the past three-ish weeks. So, instead of blogging, I focused on breathing and making it through meetings without completely breaking down.

I’ve been blogging for several years now — even thought it certainly doesn’t feel like it’s been that long — and I was curious as to just how much my style has changed over those years. It’s always interesting to go back through the blog to see my outfits and the way I’ve evolved from year to year.

I was sitting at the kitchen table on a sunny late-summer afternoon, feeding my son lunch, when I was overcome with an amazing feeling of contentment. As Sebastian peeled the turkey and cheese off his sandwich and shoved them into his mouth, dropping some turkey onto the floor in the process, he looked up at me and grinned.  And I realized that this, right here, is exactly where I want to be. It’s really all I need in life. A loving partner, an adventurous kid, a goofy dog, a cozy home, and some fun experiences are what truly make me happy.

This isn’t turkey, but you get the idea!

Thinking about now, I’m not as surprised as I would have been a few years ago.