I’ve only mentioned this once or twice on the blog but last month I was laid off from my grant writing job at the nonprofit where I worked (collectively) for more than 4 years. There was big organization-wide restructure and my position was eliminated. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard; I’ve never experienced a layoff before and it has really taken a toll on my self-confidence. Don’t worry, I’m working through it and getting my resume out there, but it has made me think a lot about the time I spent in college, preparing to join the workforce. I had no idea what to expect but I had (and still have, I suppose) a lot of dreams and plans for myself. I wanted to have some fun with my reflection so I wrote a letter of advice to my younger self. If I could go back in time and have a conversation, here’s what I’d say to me:

Dear Nikki:

First and foremost, congratulations, you made it! You’re the first person in your family to attend a four-year college so everything will be a learning curve, but you’re going to do just fine. I’m really proud of the success you had in college and luckily, you don’t have too many regrets today. Those four years sure flew by fast, didn’t they? Felt like a blink of an eye.

Little Nikki graduating with her B.A. in Psychology

You did good, kid. There were a lot of good times; those times are really important. You got involved in community theatre and women’s groups which helped build your identity. You decided to be specially added to that biology class freshman year where you met your future husband. Youdid a great job of balancing your studies with the partying, which is hard for some college students. Oh, that that time you drove all the way to D.C. just to see a Shakira concert – still one of the best experiences of your life. But most importantly, you adopted Chico and spent the next 10 years knowing a love you never thought was possible. (RIP little Chicoman).

Chico Antonio, 2006-2016. RIP little man

Because college was a big learning curve for you, there are some things I wish you had known then that you know now – little nuggets of advice you’d give to just about any college freshman if they were to ask for your highly-valued opinion – that would help you out with your career in the future. These are the things I wish I had known back then because they’re very valuable to your new job search today.

Choose a few more challenging classes. I’m proud of you for choosing a course of study that interested and inspired you, but you really should have thrown a political science or economy class in there, as well. I know your mission was to make the world a better place (as you’ll be happy to know it still is) but you would have benefited from that foundation of knowledge just as much.

Learn how to network and then do it as often as you can. You never know when you will need to reach out to someone for help or vice versa. In this dog-eat-dog world, everyone is more successful when they help each other out. You’re almost 32 years old and talking to people you don’t know very well about topics such as jobs and what you’re good at still scares the crap out of you. This is a skill you could have picked up and mastered a long time ago.

Get more involved with the community. In a few years, the world is going to make you cynical person. Where you once loved people, you’ll find yourself retreating to recharge on your own for a while. Getting more involved with the community with help you build networks and people you can reach out to if you need it in the future.

Get to know a few professors better. Get a mentor. This is so important because a mentor will help you build your leadership skills and help guide you through the field and into the career you really want to have, as well as offer a foundation for lasting professional and personal networks. It’ll make finding your dream job that much easier!

Study abroad. I know it’s scary and you’ve never even stepped foot in an airport (and you won’t until you’re 26 years old) but this is the biggest regret you have in life right now. You know how much you love other languages and cultures so this is your chance to go out and experience them. You probably won’t get the opportunity again. I know it seems expensive and scary but you can talk to your professors and the cashier’s office about how to get your financial aid to pay for it. Trust me on this one. Also, there are companies like Earnest you can use after graduation to help you get back on your feet by refinancing your student loans. So don’t miss out on this opportunity!

Lastly, look at college as preparation for life, not just a job.

These days, life is pretty good despite your recent unemployment. You have a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, a silly little dog named Mia, great friends, and a baby on the way. You’ve accomplished a lot so this one little bump in the road isn’t breaking you. And that’s because you always have been and always will be pretty awesome. Keep it up.

Sincerely,

Nikki

*This post was originally published on 12/21/2013 but is being reposted below with a few updates*

No matter what our spiritual beliefs, or what part of the world we live, we all share the turning of the sun on the solstices. Today is the 2016 Winter Solstice, or better known as The First Day of Winter.

The Winter Solstice/First Day of Winter is the longest night of the year, marking the beginning of winter and the return of the sun. After this night, the days will begin to get longer and we’ll see that we have the opportunity for a new beginning.

This is a natural time for letting go and saying farewell. Release your resentments and regrets into the darkness, knowing they will be transformed with the return of the light. Renew your visions for the new year and remember that it is important not to judge yourself by “success” or “failure” in this past year but by the true quality of how you lived your life and whether you were a good influence on your world.

In the coming year, try to create enriching experiences for yourself and continue to look forward. You can shape your life more positively, with awareness and intention. Dedicate all of your happy, joyful experiences to every living being that is able to share that good energy, and dedicate all of your painful, difficult experiences to uplifting  yourself and others.

Death and rebirth, the passing of the old, and the slow emergence of the new. Helping one another through the dark. Sharing with the less fortunate. Being thankful for our past blessings and for prosperity in the future. The natural cycles of our world. All of this is the spirit of the season I celebrate.

photo source

Celebration Ideas

This year for the winter solstice, I plan on lighting some candles and reflecting on all of the things I’m grateful for from the past year and letting go of all the resentments I might hold. For anyone that has lived through 2016, you can probably agree that this could be a really helpful step for preventing so much negativity in the coming year. I want 2017 to be better, not just for me, but for the world. This is what I will reflect on tonight with my candles. If you’re interested in doing the same, it’s really easy. Here’s what I’m going to do:

• Write down my resentments and regrets from this past year on a post-it note
• Write down my visions/resolutions for the new year on another post-it note
• Quietly reflect on the negative note, and then let all of those feelings go. Burn the note with a candle.
• As I burn the note, I’ll begin to focus on the positive for a new year and make a promise to myself that I will try to create enriching experiences and do all that I can to positively shape my life in the coming year.

Celebrating the solstice/winter is very easy, even if you’ve never done it before or are just starting out. Here are a few other ideas:

• Greet the sun at dawn on solstice morning by ringing bells.
• Create rituals, having feasts (pot-luck), and a gift exchange
• Create your own family tradition by gathering in a circle around candles. Each person can light a candle and talk about something they’re grateful for or something they wish for another person in the coming year.
• Gather around a bond fire and have each person state what they would like to give up about the past and what the envision for the future.
• Light candles: a different candle for each of the twelve months on the 12 days before the solstice. Light the center candle on solstice day (represents the return of the light)
• Contribute to wellness on the planet: donate food or clothing, meditate for world peace, make a pledge to do some form of good in the coming year.

Creating a meaningful celebration of winter solstice can help us cultivate a deeper connection to nature and family and all the things that matter most to us.

Happy Winter Solstice, everyone!

photo source

If you’re like me, you love seeing how other people decorate their homes. Just like with my outfits, I often get a lot of home-decor inspiration from the internet and from visiting friends for the first (or millionth) time.  Nick and I have done a lot to our house in the 5+ years we’ve lived here, and it almost always consists of some kind of compromise. He really likes the mid-century modern look whereas I’m a mix of modern and traditional. I think we’ve done a really good job of meshing our styles in a way that doesn’t completely clash, even if it means Nick getting his way most of the time 😉

Because I know I like it so much, I figured I would start a little series where I gradually share little pieces of my home with you. I’m starting with my bedside table even though there really isn’t anything special about it; I just like the way it turned out. The table is the Terrance Side Table in Antique Brass from West Elm. It’s perfect for the bedroom, but could really be used anywhere like the living room or even an office.

Of course it’s really clean in these photos. It usually stays pretty clean with the exception of a small collection of ponytail holders, bobby pins, and jewelry that often get taken off right before bed. I keep the standard items handy: lamp, tissues, pepper spray and flash light (for safety, as you can see on the second shelf) and tons of journals and books that I’m either currently reading.

I made the storage box on the second shelf using an old shoe box, fabric, and glue. It comes in handy for catching all the random things that I’m not sure what to do with, and it’s a really pretty addition to the table. I keep tissues, old journals, and random nicknacks in this one. The two notebooks on top are journals. (More on that below.) They’re mostly full so it’s probably time to replace them with new ones. Also, I keep this little sleep mask for when I get sensitive to the streetlamp outside our house. Side note: there are only two lamps on our entire street, one in our yard and the other at the very opposite end. The middle can get really dark at night so we often have to walk Mia with a flashlight.

I’m really into journaling and tend to have the best reflections in the evening before bed, so I keep them here for easy access. I like the prompts from the Q&A a Day and This Time Next Year journals (both available on Amazon) when I’m not particularly in the journaling mood. I love the Q&A journal because I’ve been doing it for three years now (out of five) and it’s really interesting to see where my head space was the following year when being asked to answer the same question. For example, the question for October 9 is “You want a new ____” and my answers were: 2014: Career; 2016: Opportunity; and 2016: Car. I mean, who doesn’t want a new car?! Also, I need to hurry and finish the bottom one or it’ll end up being “this time two years from now!”

Confession: these are actually a bunch of books I’ve started to read but haven’t finished for one reason or another. It’s a really bad habit of mine. I keep them here so that I can grab them whenever I’m ready to pick up where I left off. Right now I’m reading Bossy Pants, but it’s slow going.

So, that’s it. My glamorous bedside table. I hope you enjoyed this little peak into my house. What does your bedside table look like?

Holy cow, when did I become six months pregnant? It feels like the time is both flying and creeping along. March will be here before you know it, but let’s get through these holidays first, shall we? In the last few weeks, I think I’ve started experiencing every pregnancy symptom there is when you’re in the second trimester, which has been rough considering I went from no symptoms to ALL of them. I experience a lot of gas pain/pressure in my ribs and back, getting comfortable has become increasingly difficult, and I get breathless just sitting on the couch! I’ve been trying to do some prenatal yoga to help me feel better. But, enough about that!

baby size: 11.8ish inches and 1.3ish lbs, about the size of a large zucchini or ear of corn. He’s now considered viable if we were to be born tomorrow!

cravings: Chocolate-y cereal and cookies (fig newtons and sugar cookies). Y’all, the amount of sweets I’ve been eating this pregnancy has been unreal. I’ve always preferred salty and crunchy foods over sweets (like chips, fries, and savory cheese) but since becoming pregnant and having cravings, I’ve wanted the sweet stuff. I’m a little concerned that I’ll end up with gestational diabetes or something. I’ve gotten much better about balancing my intake of healthy foods with the sweets, but I still have that bowl of cocoa puffs before bed just about every night.

feelings: Emotionally, I’ve been staying pretty stable. I have had a few days recently where the crying has been free-flowing because of current life situations, but nothing that hasn’t been controllable. I figure I’m allowed to have a little catharsis every now and then. Physically, however, I’m feeling it. Like I mentioned above, I’m having all the symptoms right now and that’s making me a little moody.

movement: Baby boy is moving All. The. Time. I still feel him most in the evenings when I’m relaxing on the couch, but he does randomly kick and punch throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll even feel him moving around in the middle of the night if I wake up from a weird dream or have to go to the bathroom. It worries me just a little on the days he’s really still, but I guess he needs his rest like everyone else.

miss anything?: The holidays are coming up, which means parties and dressing up are just around the corner. Right now, I miss getting to wear all of my pretty and fancy dresses to holiday gatherings. And, while I haven’t done a deep search, it’s been harder than I expected to find a fun, glittery cocktail-style dress for pregnant women.

looking forward to:  Working on the nursery. The crib is up and we’re debating whether we should paint the room before we get any more furniture. Initially, I wasn’t interested in painting but here lately I’ve been changing my mind. We’re going with a woodlands/forest theme so I’m thinking we might paint at least one wall light blue and then put up a tree decal and paint some clouds. It seems like a lot of work so we’ll see what we end up deciding.

how we’re prepping: We’re still adding items to our registry to prep for baby showers. I have very little experience with babies so I’m practically clueless when it comes to knowing exactly what they’ll need besides a bed, food, and diapers. I’ll add a bunch of things to the registry and then remove them, and sometimes add them back! Do we need a changing table or should we invest in a dresser with a changing pad? Which mattress is best? What are the pros and cons of everything?  Ugh, it’s very overwhelming.

best moment of the month: Not specifically related to the pregnancy but I really enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with our families, some of whom haven’t seen the bump in a while, if at all. I love family so getting to spend the holiday with them while we’re prepping for our own little family was one of the best things to happen this entire year.

That’s it for now. Be sure to stay tuned for next month’s updates.

Linkups: Let it Shine

*this is a long one but hopefully worth the read*

I took a six-month blogging break so I could figure out what blogging meant for me. Am I even a blogger? I like writing but what do I want to write about? And would anyone else care about what I had to say? These were the things I thought about and even consulted with some of my friends. There were plenty of times I thought I was ready to start back up. A post idea would come to me and I’d start writing it in my head but the post never made it to paper/screen. Before I could sit myself down to write it all out, I would have talked myself out of it. I’d tell myself that it was a stupid idea and that no one would care about it. Or I would put together a super cute outfit and get tons of compliments on it and think, ‘this should go on the blog,’ but then I’d hear that voice telling me that sure, it’s a cute outfit for me, but it would never stand up to some of the outfits being displayed by the more popular bloggers — even though I had all the same elements.

I’m writing this post because I recently had an epiphany. Okay, maybe epiphany is too strong of a word. But I realized that I first started my blog because, although I was still learning how to be fashionable myself, I really liked my style and was getting a lot of inspiration from other bloggers, and I wanted to share my new knowledge with others like me, average girls who wanted to feel pretty and stylish. I came to understand that everyone who has a blog does so because they just put their stuff out there and that stuff makes its way to people who like reading it, whether that’s an outfit, a story, travel tips, life hacks, etc. I know that’s very simplistic, but in a nutshell that’s all blogging is.

Now, I’ve hated telling people about my blog because I haven’t felt like a real blogger. I’m just someone who puts words and pictures on a screen and then sends those words and pictures out into the ether of the internet. Even now, I mostly put together my outfits based on inspiration I’ve gotten from other bloggers and what I see on Pinterest. My google searches often start with, “How to wear…” so that makes me feel like I don’t know enough about fashion to be a “fashion blogger.” But one time, at a party, I showed my friend the trick for wearing non-skinny jeans with tall boots and she told me that I just had to put that on my blog. At the time I resisted because it was already on someone else’s blog but now I know that while I may not have come up with that idea, I did help spread it to a new audience. Isn’t that what the internet is even for?!

So, yes, I look to Pinterest, other bloggers, and the styled mannequins at clothing stores for outfit inspiration, but I’m pretty good at putting my own spin on whatever I put together. In high school, I proudly wore purple pleather pants, dammit. I’m going to continue to wear what I like, write about things that interest me, and share it all with you in case you like it, too. Maybe it’ll help you. Maybe it’ll entertain you. Maybe you’ll find it educational. But that’s what blogging is to me and it’s what I’ll continue to do!

 Sweater: J. Crew Outlet | Hat: Old Navy | Necklace: Stitch Fix | Denim: Banana Republic | Shoes: Target