Are you wearing red?

I hope so because today is National Wear Red Day in order to raise awareness of heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases that affect women. According to the website, “cardiovascular disease in the U.S. kills  approximately one woman every 80 seconds. The good news is that 80 percent of cardiac events may be prevented with education and lifestyle changes. Go Red For Women advocates for more research and swifter action for women’s heart health.”

photo source

The whole month of February is Heart Health Month. In the past, I didn’t give this topic much thought, being a young and healthy woman. This year, as you might imagine, it holds a much deeper meaning for me. You see, I am a heart attack survivor.

I don’t have heart disease and I had no other risk factors except pregnancy. However, I made it a point to know the warning signs (I can thank my anxiety for that) and it really did save my life. So, I encourage all of you to take a minute to think about what you’re doing for your heart and then take a few steps to do better.  If you don’t know how, a good place to start is the NC Division of Public Health’s website. And while you’re there, you can read the interview I did with them.

Sebastian and Mommy wearing red to show our support for heart health.

Today I’m wearing red for myself and for my son, Sebastian. I’m lucky to still be here to love him and to take care of him. He’s the best reason I need to take care of my heart. So,  please take care of your heart so it can take care of you.

Why do you wear red?

When I hit 30 years old, I started feeling like my body was falling apart. I definitely felt that way earlier last week when I broke my little pinky toe! I’ve stubbed my toes a million times and, while painful, they were no big deal. This time, however, my toe broke. Like, for real broke.

How did I break my toe, you ask? Was it doing something cool like learning how to skateboard or sliding into third base? Of course, not. I broke my little pinky toe on the corner of an ugly box in my living room that holds a stack of magazines I haven’t looked at in ages. Totally unsexy.

The culprit is the brown box in the left corner of this photo.

I was chasing after that beautiful boy of mine when I rounded the corner of the couch and stubbed my toe on the box in the bottom of the photo above. Of course it hurt and I didn’t think much of it until I looked down and saw that the toe was facing the opposite direction than what it should have been facing. Ouch! For a split second I thought I should just snap it back into place but I didn’t. I called Nick to come home and take me to urgent care where they sent me to the orthopedic urgent care. There, they set it back in place, buddy taped it (taped it to the toe next to it to keep it from moving too much, and fit me for a boot. I left with crutches. What an eventful day!

The next day I had a therapy appointment so Nick had to stay home from work in the morning to drive me. I didn’t have to use the crutches long because I was able to walk with the boot after a few days. Then, by the end of the week I was able to drive. I go back next week for x-fays to determine whether my toe is healing properly, and I’m hoping that the doc will tell me I can wear regular shoes again as long as I keep it buddy taped. Wish me luck!

Awkwardly walking on crutches down the sidewalk.

Each day I play a fun game where I find cute socks that I can wear with the boot, like these peanut butter & jelly socks!

Scroll down to the bottom if you want to see a photo of the toe facing the wrong direction right after I broke it. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I promise. But I wanted to provide a warning in case you’re sensitive to that sort of thing.

Have you ever broken a bone?

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One of my favorite things about this time of year is snow. I love snow! Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve looked forward to those big, fluffy flakes falling each winter. I remember the mornings of a fresh snow fall, racing to put on as many layers of clothing as I could to stay as warm as possible and running outside with my brother with our makeshift sleds and we would play for hours, feet and noses happily frozen. One time I decided to explore the snowy woods around my house. It was the most peaceful I’d ever felt, just walking around and looking at trees that were blanketed in soft white, the quiet stillness of the forest filling me with calm. It’s one of my favorite memories. And that’s why I’m always thankful for – and looking forward to – those sunny winter days.

Last week a snow storm dropped 8+ inches on our town and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy every minute of it! Even though I only went outside twice, I spent most of the first evening watching it quietly fall and most of the second evening cooking in my kitchen where I could watch it from the window. I did bundle Sebastian up so that he could experience his first snow. He didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm for the cold white stuff but we did manage to get a cute little smile out of him. I’m sure that as he gets older he will like the snow just as much as I do. But, if he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. He can sit inside, drinking hot cocoa with his dad while I’m outside enjoying the flakes.

Sunny winter days are perfect for bundling up in cute hats, scarves, and coats when venturing out into the snow snow; drinking hot cocoa in your mittens; and watching the bright, winter sun glitter. I really do love the bright sunshine cutting through the chill in the air. It’s alsoincredibly beautiful. The white snow provides the perfect backdrop for making the colors on anything pop. The blue sky is bluer, the evergreens are greener, the cardinals are redder. It’s absolutely stunning. And the snowy winter nights are made for wrapping up in soft blankets and drinking warm beverages by the fireplace, a good book in hand. These are the days I look forward to all summer long.

How do you feel about snow?

It’s the beginning of the year and I’m in some kind of place that’s a little hard to describe. I’m trying to figure out my life and my next moves after I quit my new job after only 11 months to focus on my health and to take care of my son. And I’m glad I’m home now because Sebastian just got his first ear infection on account of a lingering cold and I’m here to snuggle him until he’s better.

It was in those quiet morning hours I spent snuggling a snotty baby that I stumbled upon a documentary called Minimalism: A Documentary about Important Things, and it really spoke to me. Since the baby was born, and especially since we started amassing a ton of toys and things for him, I’ve wanted to cut down on the clutter that has collected in my house. I bought the Marie Kondo book a while back with the intention of KonMari-ing my house, but after a few chapters, I became overwhelmed. The practice of keeping only the things that spark joy sounds great in theory, but the practice of holding each and every thing you own, waiting for it to spark joy or not sounds like chaos. I imagine opening every drawer and pulling things out until all my stuff is strewn about, causing more clutter than before, and I can’t handle it. But I suppose that’s the point.

photo source

Anyway, one interview in the documentary made the point that we should be making our space accommodate our lifestyles instead of making our lifestyles accommodate our space. For example, if you purchase a house that is bigger than your lifestyle requires, you’ll likely purchase a bunch of unnecessary stuff to fill the empty space in your big house and all that stuff rarely induces happiness. And because we’re not happy with our stuff, we keep wanting to buy more material things to find that happiness we crave.

It also emphasized that when we stop focusing so much on material things, we have more time and energy (and money!) to spend building our experiences and social relationships. I like the sound of that. And what I found MOST surprising (although I’m not sure why) is that fast fashion is the main culprit of this consumer culture we now live in. They said that in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, they dressed for warm weather and cold weather, whereas now, we have 52 seasons a year. Fifty-two. THAT’S A NEW SEASON EVERY WEEK. And that’s a calculated move because clothing companies want you to feel like you’re out of trend after one week so that you’ll buy something new the next week. That is just crazy.

Even before watching the documentary, I was ready to cut down on all the stuff. A few months ago I started gathering up all the clothes and accessories I don’t wear anymore, which then led to me scouring the rest of my house, identifying everything I was ready to toss. The intention was to make a few extra bucks in a yard sale. But that was months ago and now there’s snow on the ground and a pile of stuff taking up room in the nursery, just waiting to be disposed of in some way.

I still want to get rid of everything that we don’t use and only keep things that spark joy, but I find that actually getting rid of the things is the hardest part. And not because of the emotional connection I have with my things (this used to be a thing for me when I was younger – I once kept an ugly blue chair for YEARS even though we didn’t use it simply because I got it for my first apartment) but because I just don’t know what to do with it. The easiest option is hauling it to the Goodwill down the street, but there are other options, as well, like Habitat for Humanity for my housewares, etc. I’d still like to have a yard sale to see if we can make a few bucks, but I’d have to wait until the spring when folks are more likely to seek out yard sales. That also means the stuff sitting in my house for, like, three more months! Nick has suggested selling things online (FB Market, Ebay, Craigslist, etc.) but that requires taking pictures of each individual item and I don’t have the time nor patience for that. So, unless he wants to do all that, we wait.

photo source

But all of this is to say I’ve decided to move toward minimalism. I mean, I’m not ready to sell all of my stuff and move my family into a tiny house (although I would love to have a tiny house in my back yard to use as a guest home for my friends and family who come visit) but I am ready to get rid of the junk in my house and keep only the things I need, the things that spark joy, and the things we use regularly. I want to focus less on things and more on people and experiences. I’m going to consume consciously and follow these last two important lessons from the documentary: before I purchase something new, I will ask myself if it adds value to my life, and I will love people and use things, because the opposite never works.

Let’s play What’s in my Purse: Nikki Edition.

You know those posts that bloggers do sometimes when they’re giving you a peak into their handbags? I find those posts really interesting, UNLESS they’ve been paid to showcase a product. Yes, I often throw a pack of travel tissues in there, but they’re the off-brand ones from Target not from Kleenex. But I digress.

I should probably confess that I don’t even like purses that much. I’d rather carry a few necessities in a wallet that fits in my pocket like guys do, but 1) I don’t always have pockets because sexist clothes makers don’t always include them in women’s clothes and 2) my necessities don’t always fit neatly in a little wallet. So, alas, I carry a purse. That’s probably why I just end up with a lot of crap in there.

The Bag

Anne Klein (via Belk)

I picked this one out for my birthday about a year ago. I liked it because it was a nice neutral color, it has a divider pocket, and it was a really great size for my stuff. I’ve already mentioned that I don’t really like purses but I get very picky about what I’ll carry. This has been one of my favorite bags so far.

The Contents

It really wasn’t as bad as I thought. Here’s what was in there:

Checkbook: I can’t be the only person who carries a checkbook any more, right?

Feminine hygiene products: Obviously.

Tissues: To blow my nose.

Hand sanitizer(s): Germs are everywhere so it’s important to keep some hand sanitizer on you at all times. Especially after dropping off and picking up the kid from daycare. I love those kids, but damn are they germy! I don’t know why I have two of them, though.

Sugar packet: In case I need it for my coffee?

Napkins: They come in handy for messes.

Extra medicine stored in a yellow kinder egg: I have to take medicine every day and I really shouldn’t miss a dose, so I keep extra meds in my purse just in case I’m running late in the morning and forget to take them before leaving the house.

Chewing gun: Sometimes I need to freshen my breath, other times it serves as a great grounding technique. I use grounding techniques for when I have a panicked moment. These grounding skills help keep me in the present and are helpful in managing overwhelming feelings or intense anxiety. Chewing gum allows my mind to focus on the taste and chewing sensation instead of the chaos that it wants to create.

Tide To Go stain stick: I can be a messy person. My husband can be even messier. And we have a kid. This thing gets used at least once per day.

Tylenol: For headaches and other pains.

Small travel fan: For when I get hot. But in all honesty, my fan is my go-to grounding technique for my panicked moments. Using this fan lets my mind focus on the air hitting my face instead of the racing thoughts in my brain. It’s the most effective technique I’ve found alongside chewing gum.

Pens: In case I need to write something down.

A bag full of extra pens and random lipstick: Okay, so here’s the thing. I’m a pen and napkin hoarder. I have no idea why but I feel like these are two things that I must have on me at all time. I guess it makes sense to have napkins in case I make a mess (and they come in handy for the kid’s messes) but the pens? I guess it’s just really important for me to write things down the second I have a thought. AND when it comes to paying for a meal and the server only has 2 pens for a group of 6 people.

Notebook: For when I have ideas or need to jot down notes.

Chap stick and lipsticks: To keep my lips kissable.

Nail file: I hate it when I break a nail and can’t smooth it out. It will drive me nuts all day, so I keep a nail file for just in case.

Headphones: I think this one is pretty obvious, too.

Purse hook: So I can hang my purse from the table or other surface so I don’t have to sit it on a public floor.

Wallet: Obviously.

Not pictured: a bunch of old receipts, the necklace & bracelet I wore to work and decided to remove at some point in the day, some more napkins, and a piece of mail I grabbed on the way in from my car.

I’ve heard that a look inside someone’s bag is a look into their life. I’m a nosy person by nature and I want to know how other people live their lives (this is basically why I even read blogs) so if you’re going to show me the nitty gritty of what’s in your bag/life, then dammit, I’m gonna look! But I suppose it’s only fair that if you show me yours then I show you mine. It was time to clean out my purse so I saw a good opportunity to give you a peak of my life. And now that I think about it, it’s true: my life feels as random yet vaguely put together as all of the stuff I just pulled out of my bag.