I’ve been trying really hard for some time to clean out my closet. At the beginning of the year, I went through a minimalist phase — which I would still like to continue to do but have admittedly fallen off the wagon — and got rid of so. much. stuff. It felt good and I couldn’t wait to get rid of more. But then life happens, as usual, and I haven’t kept up with it as well as I would have liked. Each day I take a long, hard look at my closet and try to grab at least one thing that I know I can part with. It’s hard because I like my clothes, otherwise I wouldn’t have bought them, but some of them just don’t excite me anymore.

This is as boho as I get. This skirt is about 4 years old and a tad too big.

Then I read this blog post by the amazing Alissa of The Adored Life about how she got rid of half the stuff in her closet. She describes how the woman her closet reflected wasn’t the woman she sees in herself because her clothes were from a different point in her life. This resonated with me SO. HARD.

Settle in for a little story.

There are two elevators in my new office building. The building itself is fairly new so the elevators are clean and well-kept. I work on the top floor of a three-floor building and I take the elevators daily. The first few times I rode the elevator car on the right, I noticed that it took slightly longer to get to my floor that you would expect for such a short ride. And when it did get to the floor, it felt like it took a few extra seconds to find the right place to come to a stop. It seemed weird to me but both cars had updated inspections so I didn’t think much of it.

Sometimes life hits you hard– even in a good way — and taking it one day at a time is the best way to handle it.

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, then you already know that I started a new job. I’m the Executive Coordinator at a local nonprofit here in Durham that focuses on teen health. I love it. I’d even go so far as to say that this is my dream organization because I’ve honestly been trying to get a job here for half a decade, AT LEAST. And I’m super passionate about the work the organization does and the impact they’re making for teens in my home state of NC.

Already on the phone with IT

How long is it supposed to take to find one’s purpose?

I worry that it will take me a lifetime to figure out who I am and what I want to do with it, and by then, it’ll be too late. I’ve always been envious of folks who seem to have it all figured out. Those who have somehow always possessed a sense of who they wanted to be and what path they had to take to be it. Disciplined, ambitious, eager. You must embody those principles to achieve your goals. This is how I would like to describe myself but my mid-twenties seemed to knock those words right out of my vocabulary. I find that life just keeps throwing curve balls and when that happens, you have to widen your stance, maybe choke up on the bat, and stay focused. This is where I am now, trying to stay focused on what my life is and how to drive it to where I want to be.

So, anywhere, here’s an update on my life lately.

When your wind-blown look is on point.

Work work work work work

It’s been four months since I quit my job. I’ve started casually looking for work again since I do have student loans that need to be paid, but if I’m completely honest, I’m not ready to go back. I love staying home with Sebastian and having the freedom to run errands whenever I want to. But I’m taking comfort in the fact that I’m trying to find something more fulfilling, making the transition a little easier.

Sebastian turned one!

Day of birth | One year old

Sebastian turned one earlier this month. This little dude definitely keeps me busy and I’m loving every minute of it – although I do wish I were better at time management so I could blog a little more. The year has definitely flown by but we’ve had a lot of fun (and stresses) during it.

My heart is doing well

Wearing red in February to support hearth health.

I’m almost a year out from my heart attack (May 27) and I’m feeling pretty good – better than I thought I would be at this point. While I still have some anxiety every now and then, I’ve learned my triggers and how to manage them, and my responses to them. My anxiety mostly manifests itself physically in the form of the heart attack symptoms I experienced last year (basically a mild form of PTSD) and it’s exacerbated when I don’t sleep well for several days and I try to make up for being tired with drinking too much coffee. So I do  my best to get enough sleep and reduce my caffeine intake, and that usually works pretty well.

Spring is finally here.

The beautiful sunshine and warmer breezes have inspired me to take more outfit photos. Getting to wear my cute spring clothes definitely helps, too! See what I mean:

Crochet top, floral cardigan, and purple pants mean Spring is here!

Light sweater, distressed denim, and cute booties. Hello, Spring!

I’m planning to get back to regularly posting outfit photos to don’t forget to follow along. Stick around to find out what else happens in this life of mine.

Hi friends,

I realize I missed the entire month of October with blogging. The truth is I had a difficult couple of weeks at the beginning of the month where my anxiety flared up and got the best of me. Sometimes it hits me so hard that I go on autopilot and it’s a small victory to make it through each day without a breakdown. And that focus on survival doesn’t include things like blogging. But I feel I’m finally out of the fog and it’s time to make time for writing. Thanks for sticking with me!

via GIPHY

One reason I’m back to the blog, though, is talk about a big change that is coming up.

After a lot of discussion and budgeting and more discussion, I’ve decided to quit my job at the end of the year to focus on my health and my family. I’ve had a lot of medical experiences this year from giving birth to having a heart attack and I never really had a chance to fully recover from either episode. I had a six-week maternity leave, which anyone who has had a baby – as well as new research on postpartum healing – can tell you this is not nearly enough time, and I was only out of work for a week following the heart incident, so it’s really no wonder that my anxiety has been front and center for the past six months.  But not only is this time off for taking care of myself, but I’ll have this awesome little guy around to help me get better!

And I can focus on watching him grow for a while, something I feel like I’ve been missing out on ever since I had to go back to work.

It won’t be all fun and games, however. The plan is to take time to get back on my feet and, when I’m ready, I’ll start fresh with my career, which is the other half of my big decision. I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet but I *DO* know that I want it to involve writing, both for my blog and professionally. I’d love to write for magazines, other blogs, and even for news & academia outlets. I love writing and it has taken me more than a decade to be able to say that I’m a good writer. I am a good writer, I’ve just never given myself permission to believe it so I’ve never pursued writing as a career. Until now. And my next post will talk a little more about how I came to these decisions.

So, tell me: have any of you made any big decisions – whether it was to quit your job to stay home with your children or to start a totally new career with little to no experience – and if so, how did it turn out? I love hearing others’ experiences and I certainly need all of the encouragement I can get. Thanks!