Last year I created and failed pretty miserably at a 19 in 2019: A list of 19 things to do in the year 2019. Since I only did a few of them – far less than I ever imagined – I’d like to pick it up again this year and try to complete some of those things I had wanted to do then. The things I did accomplish this past year were: attend a wine tasting, put down new floors, paint and renovate the laundry room, and bake a fancy cake. That’s 4 out of 19; I told you I failed miserably. For this year, I’ll include the ones I didn’t do plus 6 more and they can serve as my New Year’s resolutions.

So, in no particular order, here are my 20 things to do in 2020:

Y’all, this is a hard post for me to write but it has been on my heart and on my mind for a while now.

I think it’s time to end the blog.

It’s not something that I really want to do; quite the contrary, actually, because I enjoy writing, sharing things in my life, and putting together/ showing off my outfits. I’m always logging in and starting post drafts but I rarely finish them these days. But the truth is blogging has changed so much in the last few years and I feel like I can’t keep up. And not just that I can’t, but that I don’t want to.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge explains it perfectly during her ZigZag podcast interview where she talks about ending her blog because to be a successful blogger in 2019, you have to turn it into “a human-sponsored product.” It’s all about influencing. Companies paying you money to convince people to buy their shit. Essentially, you’re a glorified marketing tool, a salesperson. And I’m not really down with that.

I started my blog because I wanted a creative outlet that would inspire others’ feelings about themselves (not their spending habits). But a few years in, I got sucked into the vortex and was spending way too much money on clothes that I didn’t need all because I thought they would look good on the blog and I could grow my readership. Well, neither of those things happened and I ended up wasting money on clothes that didn’t fit my actual lifestyle so I never wore them. Not to even mention the ethics of fast fashion, how it’s polluting the planet and exploiting human beings in other countries.

So where do I go from here?

I’m not sure. You’ve probably noticed – and maybe you’ve always been aware – that the posts are fewer and farther between and have been for several months, if not longer. Especially when Sebastian came along. I never wanted to be a mommy blogger so I’ve made a conscious effort not to make it one. And the honest truth is that I just don’t have the confidence to keep trying. I already feel like I don’t really have anything to contribute to the internet world. My style is okay, I don’t DIY a lot of things, I don’t have any life hacks, and I don’t have the time nor energy to focus on creative writing.

So where do I go from here? I don’t know. I might keep the Instagram going for a while, but I can’t blame folks for not liking poorly-lit bathroom selfies! Maybe this is it. Maybe it isn’t. Mostly likely, though, it is. I’ve had some fun with this here log in the last six years, so why not end on a good note?

Take care and much love,

Nikki.

Have you ever heard of orange wine?

Durham has an amazing little wine bar downtown called Bar Brunello. The owner, Esteban, is the real deal, having received a “Rising Star Sommelier Award” from the New York-based culinary magazine StarChefs and having trained with the International Sommelier Guild. It was here that Nick and I first discovered – and ultimately fell in love with – orange wines.

Hear me out.

It starts as a tiny scratch in your throat when you swallow. You tell yourself it’s just your imagination but before you know it, your entire throat is engulfed in a fiery pain that makes you want to rip it out and stomp on it. Or, you know, sip something warm and soothing.

That was me last week. After several days of dealing with a nasty sore throat, I finally made an appointment to see my doctor. I had tried gargling salt water, sucking Burt’s Bees lozenges, and drinking warm tea with lemon, ginger, & honey, but none of it worked. In desperation for relief while I awaited my appointment, I turned to my Facebook friends for remedies that I hadn’t tried yet. They swiftly came to my rescue with all kinds of treatments they use to care for their own sore throats. My friends are awesome and their remedies reminded me of two books/articles that I’ve read recently that have been on my mind: