Happy birthday to me!

It’s hard to believe I am in my mid-thirties.

It feels like just yesterday that I was learning to drive a car, studying for midterm exams, or even getting married! Yet here were are at the end of the most memorable year any of us have probably ever experienced, on my birthday, with a global pandemic raging around us, and everyone trying to find a “new normal” in life while simply surviving. Aside from all of that, though, this year has also been memorable for me in other ways: my baby turned three, we sold our first home and bought a new one, I quit my job with NO back-up plan because I was miserable, and I decided that I was tired of suffering imposter syndrome. So, I’m determined that this will be the year I gain my confidence back.

That last one is super scary for me, but also incredibly exciting! When I was younger, I truly felt like there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do and I was already ready to take on the world. Somewhere in my late twenties, however, I lost all that mojo and I’ve had a really hard time feeling like I was worthy of anything. But this year, my 36th year, I’m reclaiming my confidence. And to help me do that, I’m looking at all the life lessons I’ve learned up to this point. Some of these I’ve known and followed for a while but some of them took me a little longer to learn. It’s not that I hadn’t heard them before, but rather that I didn’t know that they applied to me, too.

So, here are 36 life lessons I’ve learned so far:

I’m 34 years old today!

I love birthdays.

Mine and everyone else’s. For me, celebrating a birthday is honoring the day that a person came to be, a whole human being that came into existence from seemingly nowhere, and you just can’t beat that.

But when I turned 30, I briefly considered no longer commemorating my birthday because turning 30 meant I was getting older and getting much closer to having to face my own mortality. I hated the thought of dying, as evidenced by the huge dose of health anxiety, previously known as hypochondria, I felt on a regular basis since my late 20s, so anything that reminded me I was getting closer to death had to go. Little did I know that death was closer to knocking at my door than I ever realized.

A few weeks ago, we got a babysitter and went to dinner for Nick’s birthday. We ate at St. James Seafood Restaurant and Raw Bar in Durham, one of Matt Kelly’s (of Vin Rouge and Mateo’s bar de tapas fame) newest food sensations. Seriously, I love all of his restaurants and would let him cook for me for the rest of my life. Anyway, we went there for my birthday in December and Nick liked it so much that we went back for his. We had just started the Whole30 diet at the time and we were going to try really hard to stick to it, but as soon as we saw the fried oysters, we threw the diet out the window and didn’t feel the least bit bad about it! It was totally worth it.

Birthday Boy!

My birthday is New Year’s Eve and this year I turned 32. As a kid, it was awesome because I got to have a party or celebrate however I wanted and then stay up until the ball dropped, drinking sparkling grape juice. As an adult, it isn’t quite as glamorous simply because I now have to compete with the holiday. Kids always come to your birthday party because there are no bars or clubs or better things to do. Your party IS the thing to do. As an adult, you have to make your party pretty enticing to convince your adult friends to stop by before heading to the other festivities. I’ve been throwing a birthday/NYE party for myself for several years now and these are the reasons why I always try to have an amazing spread, fun decorations, a fun activity, and plenty of booze at my parties. With the baby expected to arrive in the spring, this was my last party for a while. But we made it pretty awesome!

The Food

Our menu consisted of black bean sliders with chipotle aioli, charcuterie tray, sausage balls, mini corn cakes with smoked salmon and dill, a veggie tray, a fruit tray, a dessert tray from our local Fresh Market, and some bomb-diggity short rib queso dip that I didn’t get a picture of because it was in a slow cooker on the counter.

We accompanied our charcuterie tray with cornichons, honey-roasted mixed nuts, and green olives.

In addition to all of this food, our friends also brought side dishes and drinks so we were definitely set on delicious noms all night!

The Decorations

I’ve been using the same decorations for years. I got them pretty cheap at Party City and box them up after the party and keep them safe until the next time. I think they work pretty well but Nick hates them because they do look so cheap. Oh, well. They’ll have to do until I can afford some fancy schmancy decorations, which will probably be never so plastic decorations it is!

The Fun Activity

This is another activity I do every year: setting up a resolution station. This year I simply taped some black craft paper on the wall and outlined it in strips of leftover glittery wrapping paper. I set out gold sharpies for my guests to write down their New Year’s Resolutions if they felt up to it. I have several resolutions this year that I’ll be sharing with you all tomorrow.

I’m really grateful to all of my friends that were able to make it this year. Like I mentioned above, it’s the last soirée we’ll be having since our little man is coming, so it was nice to feel like I went out with a bang!

Last couple selfie of 2016. It’ll be ‘just the two of us’ for only a few more months!