I’ve been thinking about this here blog for the past few weeks. It seems I’ve developed a blogging pattern that consists of getting really energized and having a lot of ideas, and all I want to do is sit and write and share with you, but then I lose steam and feel like nothing I write about is very interesting or worth reading so I disappear for a week or two until I get energized again. I don’t like that pattern and I’m sure it certainly isn’t fun for my readers, but impostor syndrome and feeling like a fraud is really hard to shake. If you experience it, you know what I mean!

But I’ve really started to evaluate my role as a blogger — or, more accurately, my desire to be a blogger — because I was watching Instagram stories the other day and I found some of them to be riveting. And that made me wonder what it is about these stories that caught and held my attention, and I realized that it’s because I could relate to them in some way; my stories aren’t that much different from theirs. So maybe what I have to share really is *that* interesting… or maybe not since it’s already been done. Are you catching on to my thought process here? It’s exhausting to think this way all the time.

I’ve been thinking about the blog because I want to write more consistently. But blogging takes a lot of work and effort. Sometimes I feel that if I spend too much time blogging then I’m not being truly present in my life and I’m missing out on time with my son. But then I’m neglecting my blog and my passion. So how do I find that balance of being present in each moment but still devoted to blogging about those moments? How do you other bloggers do it? A few of the bloggers I really like have given birth recently and I love seeing stories about their beautiful new babies. I have a baby, and I’m sure that sharing stories about our day and the silly things he does would be pretty entertaining.

Anyway, this post has been a draft for a while now. Why? Because it wasn’t finished. It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t have the right pictures. I didn’t think anyone would care. Any maybe no one does care. Maybe I’m yelling out into the void. But if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear, does it still make a sound? You betcha. So, I’m pressing publish and making my sound. I just hope there’s someone out there in the forest who wants to hear it.

*this is a long one but hopefully worth the read*

I took a six-month blogging break so I could figure out what blogging meant for me. Am I even a blogger? I like writing but what do I want to write about? And would anyone else care about what I had to say? These were the things I thought about and even consulted with some of my friends. There were plenty of times I thought I was ready to start back up. A post idea would come to me and I’d start writing it in my head but the post never made it to paper/screen. Before I could sit myself down to write it all out, I would have talked myself out of it. I’d tell myself that it was a stupid idea and that no one would care about it. Or I would put together a super cute outfit and get tons of compliments on it and think, ‘this should go on the blog,’ but then I’d hear that voice telling me that sure, it’s a cute outfit for me, but it would never stand up to some of the outfits being displayed by the more popular bloggers — even though I had all the same elements.

I’m writing this post because I recently had an epiphany. Okay, maybe epiphany is too strong of a word. But I realized that I first started my blog because, although I was still learning how to be fashionable myself, I really liked my style and was getting a lot of inspiration from other bloggers, and I wanted to share my new knowledge with others like me, average girls who wanted to feel pretty and stylish. I came to understand that everyone who has a blog does so because they just put their stuff out there and that stuff makes its way to people who like reading it, whether that’s an outfit, a story, travel tips, life hacks, etc. I know that’s very simplistic, but in a nutshell that’s all blogging is.

Now, I’ve hated telling people about my blog because I haven’t felt like a real blogger. I’m just someone who puts words and pictures on a screen and then sends those words and pictures out into the ether of the internet. Even now, I mostly put together my outfits based on inspiration I’ve gotten from other bloggers and what I see on Pinterest. My google searches often start with, “How to wear…” so that makes me feel like I don’t know enough about fashion to be a “fashion blogger.” But one time, at a party, I showed my friend the trick for wearing non-skinny jeans with tall boots and she told me that I just had to put that on my blog. At the time I resisted because it was already on someone else’s blog but now I know that while I may not have come up with that idea, I did help spread it to a new audience. Isn’t that what the internet is even for?!

So, yes, I look to Pinterest, other bloggers, and the styled mannequins at clothing stores for outfit inspiration, but I’m pretty good at putting my own spin on whatever I put together. In high school, I proudly wore purple pleather pants, dammit. I’m going to continue to wear what I like, write about things that interest me, and share it all with you in case you like it, too. Maybe it’ll help you. Maybe it’ll entertain you. Maybe you’ll find it educational. But that’s what blogging is to me and it’s what I’ll continue to do!

 Sweater: J. Crew Outlet | Hat: Old Navy | Necklace: Stitch Fix | Denim: Banana Republic | Shoes: Target