It’s the beginning of the year and I’m in some kind of place that’s a little hard to describe. I’m trying to figure out my life and my next moves after I quit my new job after only 11 months to focus on my health and to take care of my son. And I’m glad I’m home now because Sebastian just got his first ear infection on account of a lingering cold and I’m here to snuggle him until he’s better.

It was in those quiet morning hours I spent snuggling a snotty baby that I stumbled upon a documentary called Minimalism: A Documentary about Important Things, and it really spoke to me. Since the baby was born, and especially since we started amassing a ton of toys and things for him, I’ve wanted to cut down on the clutter that has collected in my house. I bought the Marie Kondo book a while back with the intention of KonMari-ing my house, but after a few chapters, I became overwhelmed. The practice of keeping only the things that spark joy sounds great in theory, but the practice of holding each and every thing you own, waiting for it to spark joy or not sounds like chaos. I imagine opening every drawer and pulling things out until all my stuff is strewn about, causing more clutter than before, and I can’t handle it. But I suppose that’s the point.

photo source

Anyway, one interview in the documentary made the point that we should be making our space accommodate our lifestyles instead of making our lifestyles accommodate our space. For example, if you purchase a house that is bigger than your lifestyle requires, you’ll likely purchase a bunch of unnecessary stuff to fill the empty space in your big house and all that stuff rarely induces happiness. And because we’re not happy with our stuff, we keep wanting to buy more material things to find that happiness we crave.

It also emphasized that when we stop focusing so much on material things, we have more time and energy (and money!) to spend building our experiences and social relationships. I like the sound of that. And what I found MOST surprising (although I’m not sure why) is that fast fashion is the main culprit of this consumer culture we now live in. They said that in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, they dressed for warm weather and cold weather, whereas now, we have 52 seasons a year. Fifty-two. THAT’S A NEW SEASON EVERY WEEK. And that’s a calculated move because clothing companies want you to feel like you’re out of trend after one week so that you’ll buy something new the next week. That is just crazy.

Even before watching the documentary, I was ready to cut down on all the stuff. A few months ago I started gathering up all the clothes and accessories I don’t wear anymore, which then led to me scouring the rest of my house, identifying everything I was ready to toss. The intention was to make a few extra bucks in a yard sale. But that was months ago and now there’s snow on the ground and a pile of stuff taking up room in the nursery, just waiting to be disposed of in some way.

I still want to get rid of everything that we don’t use and only keep things that spark joy, but I find that actually getting rid of the things is the hardest part. And not because of the emotional connection I have with my things (this used to be a thing for me when I was younger – I once kept an ugly blue chair for YEARS even though we didn’t use it simply because I got it for my first apartment) but because I just don’t know what to do with it. The easiest option is hauling it to the Goodwill down the street, but there are other options, as well, like Habitat for Humanity for my housewares, etc. I’d still like to have a yard sale to see if we can make a few bucks, but I’d have to wait until the spring when folks are more likely to seek out yard sales. That also means the stuff sitting in my house for, like, three more months! Nick has suggested selling things online (FB Market, Ebay, Craigslist, etc.) but that requires taking pictures of each individual item and I don’t have the time nor patience for that. So, unless he wants to do all that, we wait.

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But all of this is to say I’ve decided to move toward minimalism. I mean, I’m not ready to sell all of my stuff and move my family into a tiny house (although I would love to have a tiny house in my back yard to use as a guest home for my friends and family who come visit) but I am ready to get rid of the junk in my house and keep only the things I need, the things that spark joy, and the things we use regularly. I want to focus less on things and more on people and experiences. I’m going to consume consciously and follow these last two important lessons from the documentary: before I purchase something new, I will ask myself if it adds value to my life, and I will love people and use things, because the opposite never works.

Happy birthday to me!

It’s hard to believe I am in my mid-thirties.

It feels like just yesterday that I was learning to drive a car, studying for midterm exams, or even getting married! Yet here were are at the end of the most memorable year any of us have probably ever experienced, on my birthday, with a global pandemic raging around us, and everyone trying to find a “new normal” in life while simply surviving. Aside from all of that, though, this year has also been memorable for me in other ways: my baby turned three, we sold our first home and bought a new one, I quit my job with NO back-up plan because I was miserable, and I decided that I was tired of suffering imposter syndrome. So, I’m determined that this will be the year I gain my confidence back.

That last one is super scary for me, but also incredibly exciting! When I was younger, I truly felt like there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do and I was already ready to take on the world. Somewhere in my late twenties, however, I lost all that mojo and I’ve had a really hard time feeling like I was worthy of anything. But this year, my 36th year, I’m reclaiming my confidence. And to help me do that, I’m looking at all the life lessons I’ve learned up to this point. Some of these I’ve known and followed for a while but some of them took me a little longer to learn. It’s not that I hadn’t heard them before, but rather that I didn’t know that they applied to me, too.

So, here are 36 life lessons I’ve learned so far:

Last year I created and failed pretty miserably at a 19 in 2019: A list of 19 things to do in the year 2019. Since I only did a few of them – far less than I ever imagined – I’d like to pick it up again this year and try to complete some of those things I had wanted to do then. The things I did accomplish this past year were: attend a wine tasting, put down new floors, paint and renovate the laundry room, and bake a fancy cake. That’s 4 out of 19; I told you I failed miserably. For this year, I’ll include the ones I didn’t do plus 6 more and they can serve as my New Year’s resolutions.

So, in no particular order, here are my 20 things to do in 2020:

I’ve seen several bloggers create a 19 in 2019: A list of 19 things to do in the year. I know I’m a few months late since we’re now in March, but I thought this ideas sounded like a fun way to help me tick off some of the items on my New Life Resolutions list, so I decided to do the same.

So, in no particular order, here are my 19 things to do in 2019:

1. DIY a big boy bed. Nick thinks we can put together a toddler bed for Sebastian pretty easily. We’ve found some detailed plans on Pinterest so we’re going to give it a try. Wish us luck!
2. Attend a wine tasting. I’ve done this before but I want to do it again! Taste all the wines!
3. Complete one big house project. I swear this one was on our list before the flooding mishap, so I’m leaving it on this list and will count our new floors toward this one.
4. Go camping. My family went camping a lot when I was kid and I have very fond memories of toasting marshmallows on campfires. I also love being outdoors, especially at night when you can hear the tree frogs and crickets playing their beautiful songs. I’d like to pass this love on to my own family.
5. Volunteer. I’d like to do more volunteer work in my community and include Sebastian, especially as he gets older.
6. Read a classic. There are a lot of classic novels out there that I’ve missed out on so I want to read at least one now that I’m an adult.
7. Complete a landscaping project. Namely, our back yard. We need to clean it up and put in better drainage. The back yard is one of the features that sold us on our house but a lot has happened over the years to destroy it so we need to take care of it. This is the year we do it.
8. Participate in a yoga challenge. I don’t know what kind of yoga challenge yet, but I figure this might help me get back into practicing yoga more regularly.
9. Host a small, fancy dinner party. I just think dinner parties are fun. And I want to host one where we can all dress up, because I feel like I never get to dress up anymore!
10. Paint/renovate the laundry room. We’ve wanted to do this since we moved in so it’s about time we do it.
11. Konmari my closet. If it sparks joy, I keep it. If it doesn’t, I thank it for its service and move on.
12. Bake a fancy cake. Maybe it’s all the cooking & baking shows we’ve been watching lately but I want to try my hand at baking a fancy cake with pretty icing, fondant, and decorations.
13. Do at least 3 new things. It’s time to get out of my comfort zone!
14. Create a new family tradition. Because we’re a family of three now and it just feels right.
15. Take a photography/Photoshop class. I’ve had a nice camera for a while but I need some guidance on taking (and editing) truly awesome photos.
16. Catch up on my scrapbooking. I love scrapbooking and have several of them, but after Sebastian came along, I didn’t have much time to devote to them. I have a ton of photos and things to put in my scrapbooks, so I’m going to intentionally carve out some time to spend with my glue sticks and books.
17. Plan a weekend away/staycation. How fun it is to be a tourist in your own town? Or even to visit the next town over that you hear good things about but you’ve never actually been. For example, I’ve heard lovely things about Hillsborough, NC but I’ve never been there. It’s only 20 minutes away, so a weekend get-away there is a perfect way to have a vacation on the cheap.
18. Send a hand-written letter/card to one person each month. There’s nothing better than receiving a hand-written letter or card in the mail, and I find writing and sending them to be just as fun.
19. Write a short story. I want to be a writer. I have lots of ideas. But I have a lot of confidence issues that keep me from writing. So this year, I want to write a short story. I don’t care if it’s good or bad, I just want to write one.

I’m looking forward to doing all of these things and make this the best year ever.

Hey, look at me, back with some pictures of the clothes I put on my body!

So, how many of you, like me, have new year’s resolutions to clean up your space and are KonMari-ing? If you have Netflix, you’ve probably seen the show Tidying Up with Marie Kondo or you’ve at least heard of it. I bought the book a few years ago so I was already familiar with the KonMari method of tidying when the show came out. If you’re not familiar with KonMari, you organize by room instead of my stuff. Then, you take EVERYTHING out of your closet, drawers, etc. and hold each item to determine whether it “sparks joy.” If it does, you keep it, and if it doesn’t, you get rid of it.

The idea of taking every single piece of clothing out of my closet at once is still too daunting, but as I’ve mentioned a few times on the blog, I’ve been taking pieces out a little at a time to ensure my style reflects who I am now, and to help me achieve my goal of living a somewhat minimalist lifestyle. Freshly inspired by Marie Kondo and her show, I’ve taken even MORE pieces out of my closet in the past few weeks and I’m still feeling great about the pieces that remain, as evidenced by the return of my office-bathroom mirror selfies!

Anyway, on to the outfits!